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Posts Liked by janmishka

never make eyecontact while eating a banana.

4

Sex is like High School... You miss one period and you're in trouble.

6

H.O.E.S =
Happily Offering Everybody
Sex.

6

If I died and went to hell it would probably take me a while to realize that I'm not at work anymore.

53

Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons...

67

itunes has got it all wrong the hottest single of the year is me

20

I saw something
that reminded me of you today,
but don't worry I flushed it •

52

I'm pretty sure this whole 'ladies first' thing was created by a guy to check out ass.

72

Growing old is
mandatory.

Growing up is optional.

140

Sad story: my favorite Italian chef died. In other words, he pasta way.

120

recently, i called my mother at 3 am. just to let her know how it is, when she calls me on sunday 1 pm.

74

How am I meant to control my life I can’t even control my hair

125

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

42

I just took a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.

360

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