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Posts Liked by JanDavis

Love is like farting.
If you have to force it, then it's probably shit.

180

Don't worry about those who talk behind your back, they're behind you for a reason.

99

don't give up on your dreams.

keep sleeping.

155

Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while you are waiting.

134

Always love a women for her personality.

They have like 10, so you can choose.

145

What if when we die the light at the end of the tunnel we see is just us being pushed out of another vagina?

163

100% of non-
smokers die too.

184

the problem is not being a sheep, the problem is following the wrong shepherd

133

Haters will see you walk on water and say its because you can't swim.

212

thank god
i'm an atheist!

118

i sock at spelling

87

Did you know that if you put your ear up a strangers leg you can hear them say:
What the fuck are you doing?!?

258

What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?
Silicon Valley.

140

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.

C. S. Lewis

239

If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphillis!

407

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

566

If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.

572

All things are difficult before they are easy

34

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?

53

If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.

220

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

• Dr. Maya Angelou

91

Who should be blamed when a leaf falls from a tree? Is it the wind who blew it away? Or the tree that let it go? ...Or is it the leaf who got tired of holding on?

65

Sun goes down earlier for short people.

664

You don't have to be a cowboy to ride off into the sunset.

203

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