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Posts Liked by igrette

Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while you are waiting.

59

I had a dream about you... And when I say dream, I mean nightmare.

19

Sometimes I use big words I don't always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

92

Remember if on your 10th selfie you don't have the perfect one to post you're really just ugly.

11

Oh, you're dating my ex?

Cool, I'm eating a sandwich.
Want those leftovers too?

117

Beam me up, Scotty
there's no intelligent
life down here.

Captain James T. Kirk

49

ALCOHOL DOESN'T CAUSE HANGOVERS WAKING UP DOES

88

You strike me as one of those people who hands out fruit on Halloween.

43

There's nothing like a visit from an out of town friend to point out how little I actually know about the city I live in.

17

Floating on a rock in space.

A really nice rock.

36

You strike me as one of those people who hands out fruit on Halloween.

43

Sometimes when you look into a mirror, try to see beyond the reflection.

6

BACTERIA
THE
ONLY
CULTURE
SOME
PEOPLE
HAVE

68

A lot of things in life are so easy...

...in the movies!

27

Facebook:

Helping you remember birthdays since 2004.

6

I made this bold nice and short so you can just move onto the next one.

8

Will
you miss
me when I'm
gone..?

11

A person who truly loves you is someone who sees the pain in your eyes, while everyone else believes in the smile on your face.

16

The moment you're about to quit is usually the moment just before something awesome happens.

4

Fact: 6 in 9 people will see something dirty in this post.

31

Being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.

21

tears are temporary

memories stay forever

27

I hope Jessica Biel names her first child Batmo.

42

Let me tell you a bit about my background...

Well, It's green.

80

For Halloween I'm going to write "LIFE" on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers.

11

If you're seeing things running through your head
Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!
An invisible man
sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!
I ain't afraid of no ghost
I ain't afraid of no ghost
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

10

Don't scare me!

I poop easily ..

8

Why don't skeletons like parties?

They have no body to dance with!

4

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch.

7

$ghost in white, jack o'lantern, pumpkins bright, black cats and bats, and goblins green is HALLOWEEN! _ - - _ / \ | (_) (_) | (__ /|\ __) \\\,,,,,,,/// \_"""_/$

8

Don't drink and drive.

Smoke and fly.

16

I wouldn't say "trick or treat"

I would say: "if you don't have any sweets, I also accept blood"

11

I hope it won't offend you if I ask to borrow some of your hipster clothes for my hobo costume.

4

2+2=fish 3+3=eight 7+7=triangle
Only smart people will get this. Repost if you get it.

36

I don't have a Facebook or Twitter account, so I just go around announcing out loud what I'm doing at random times. I've got three followers so far but I think at least two are cops.

135

All my life I thought air was free..
until I bought a bag of chips •

120

If I have ten ice cubes and you have eleven oranges, how many pancakes can fit on the roof? Purple. Because aliens don't wear hats.

126

lets have a moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride stationary bicycles.

54

Welcome to the dark side. We lied about the cookies.

21

leave my head
or
start paying rent

103

Bold gives voice and color to the silent majority

66

i remember when music cost money and water was free.

42

I'm gonna ignore you so hard you'll start to doubt your own existance.

73

Dear Noah,

we could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving 'till 5.

Sincerly,
Unicorns

127

when alexander graham bell invented the phone, he had three missed calls from chuck norris

40

Skinny girls think they are chubby,
chubby girls think they're fat
and fat girls think they can wear leggings •

39

Life is like a Rubik's cube; you go through twists and turns, but there is always a solution!

7

I lay in my bed last night, looking at the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the fuck did my ceiling go?!

6

You just tell me when and where, and not only will I not be there, but I'll also be late.

10

Sarcasm and orgasm. Two things most people don't get. Those who do are smiling right now.

68

That awkward moment when you have too much month at the end of your money.

15

I had a dream about you. You dont need to thank me for taking you into consideration. But I do expect you to return the favor.

12

the LIKE
generation

8

the ones who say
"you can't"
and "you won't" are probably the ones scared that "you will"

12

Oh, you're dating my ex?

Cool, I'm eating a sandwich.
Want those leftovers too?

75

I may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I'm someones double vodka!

108

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning Satan shudders and says, "Oh no...she is awake!"

83

STOP PRESSING REPLAY ON THE THINGS THAT NEED TO BE DELETED FROM YOUR LIFE

140

my ex has one very annoying habit.

breathing.

96

Twerking and Selfie have been added to the dictionary.

Future and Hope have been removed...

75

ALCOHOL DOESN'T CAUSE HANGOVERS WAKING UP DOES

76

i like to think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram

53

The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons
and morons.

89

Men who say women belong in the kitchen obviously dont know what to do with them in the bedroom.

100

secret to stay young:

live honestly, eat slowly
and lie about your age.

57

Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it'll always get you the right ones
-John Lennon

117

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

104

find a job
you love
and you never work
a day in
your life

90

what if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in spanish

92

IMAGINE

If trees gave off WiFi
signals, we would be
planting so many trees
and we'd probably
save the planet too!

Too bad they only
produce the oxygen
we breathe.

97

Let your actions
echo your words.

72

Me: I wanna look good today.
Body: No.
Hair: Nope.
Face: Nice try.

93

That moment when you get into the van and there is no candy.

63

Extremists have shown what frightens them most. A girl with a book.

Malala Yousaf

59

sometimes you have to be your own hero and save your own heart

because sometimes the people you cant imagine living without

can live without you.

100

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