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Posts Liked by hjhan

Love what you have before life teaches you to love what you've lost.

284

"Love isn't who you can see yourself with, it's who you can't see yourself without".

20

Don't mix bad words with a bad mood. You'll have many opportunities to change a mood, but you won't be able to replace words you spoke

44

If you break a rule, do it the right way!

20

You have to be odd to be number one.

66

I don't regret the things I did wrong.

I regret the good things I did for the wrong people.

43

Break rules, not hearts.

410

10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion.

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.

473

Those who snore always fall asleep first.

205

I wish I had boobs so people would stop making eye contact with me.

458

Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?

379

A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear.

Unless it's 3am.

And you're home alone.

And you don't have a baby.

427

There's no stronger sunscreen than sitting at the bar.

111

if you rearrange the letters in

MOTHER IN LAW

you get

WOMAN HITLER

184

A church is a hospital for sinners, not a club for saints.

206

The most amazing people are the ones that don't speak much, but when they do, they shut up a lot of mouths.

295

If the phone doesn't ring,
it's me.

178

I don't approve of political jokes

I've seen too many of them get elected.

153

Trust your heart, it beat before you were able to think!

230

You know you are getting old when happy hour is a nap.

171

I have mixed drinks about feelings. ..

144

Show a girl you don't care and she'll chase you. Show a woman you don't care and she'll replace you.

250

There's an ancient birth control secret. It's called "keep your legs together.

132

What Susie says
of Sally
says more of Susie
than of Sally.

Remember that.

199

I swear if my
memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

231

the only thing you should take personally
is your personality

166

Time to go to bed.

I have a life to pretend to have tomorrow.

222

The paradise is a place where sundays never ends.

171

Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

452

I heard you should question everything, but why?

176

Life is like a Bollywood movie: colorful, humorous, and usually you have no idea what the fuck is going on.

289

Have you ever noticed that a woman's
"be ready in 5 minutes"
and a man's
"be home in 5 minutes"
are exactly the same?

289

lazy is a very strong word.
i like to call it selective participation.

279

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