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Posts Liked by hcblank

I'm gonna use what little
energy I have today to breathe
and blink, that's about it.

28

Whoever invented Knock Knock jokes should get a 'no bell prize'.

28

UK - We call it Autumn from the French word "autompne" and the later, the Latin "autumnus".

US - WE CALL IT FALL BECAUSE THE LEAVES FALL DOWN

28

I know a guy thats cousins brothers girlfriend knows a girl thats gran aunts sister knows a dog and the dogs owner has a cat that knows a zebra who was petted by a kid thats uncles grandad that has shook hands with Barrack O'Bama

25

when life hands you lemons make orange juice and leave the whole world wondering how you did it

2

hakuna
maSQUATa

19

sometimes the only therapy you need is to talk to your best friend...

i can't imagine life without you.
<3

19

I lost my internet connection! Oh, no, my neighbor changed his wifi password.

19

my laziness is exactly as the number 8.

when it lays down it becomes infinite.

22

*squats down to look in the refrigerator* fitness.

26

born to late to explore the earth.
born to early to explore the galaxy.
born just in time to browse boldomactic.

40

Virgo is the only zodiacal sign represented by a female. It is sometimes thought of as a potentially creative girl, delicately lovely; sometimes as a somewhat older woman, intelligent but rather pedantic and spinsterish. The latter impression is sometimes confirmed by the Virgoan preciseness, refinement, fastidious love of cleanliness, hygiene and good order, conventionality and aristocratic attitude of reserve. They are usually observant, shrewd, critically inclined, judicious, patient, practical supporters of the status quo, and tend toward conservatism in all departments of life. On the surface they are emotionally cold, and sometimes this goes deeper, for their habit of suppressing their natural kindness may in the end cause it to atrophy, with the result that they shrink from committing themselves to friendship, make few relationships, and those they do make they are careful to keep superficial.

1

as much as i would
like to believe you,
you give a lot of
love for my
doubts.

14

you're on your worst behavior

14

I'm not lazy, I'm passively active

20

My thoughts and prayers go out to anyone trying on summer clothes.

18

Where can I buy a selfie stick to beat up people who own selfie sticks?

34

your secrets are safe with me, because there is a good chance I was not listening.

51

cry
me
a river

12

my back is not a voicemail say it to my face

232

You wish that I would listen more, and I wish I ruled a kingdom made of cake. The point is, we can't get everything we wish for.

19

Summer is when I find out if my cat loves me for more than just my body heat.

33

Once you've read the dictionary, every other book you read is a remix.

24

sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show and the blood of your enemies

63

roses are red, violets are blue,
you little stupid ass bitch,
I don't fuck with you

28

if i had a twin that was born 5 minutes after me. i would always say "when i was your age" and proceed to tell them what i had done 5 minutes ago.

42

A woman saying "I'm not mad at you" is like a dentist saying "You won't feel a thing."

41

No one wants to hear about your diet. Just eat your salad and be sad.

55

"Do you have a second, Haiden?"

"No, there's only one of me. What...? What are you asking?"

11

it's not you, it's your grammar

7

•Lady: Is this my train?

•Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company

•L: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to Kuala Lumpur

•SM: No Madam, I'm afraid it's to heavy

14

I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you have come into my life, I've changed my mind.

15

a guy broke into my apartment last week. he didnt steal the tv, just the remote. now he drives by and changes the channels. sick bastard

17

me: "I like to talk to myself"

me: "me too"

me: "haha, you're so funny.."

32

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once!

64

-Police: 'Knock Knock'
-Me: Who is it?
-Police: It's the Police!
-Me: What do you want?
-P: We just wanna talk.
-M: How many of you are there?
-P: 2
-M: Then Talk to each other

102

The downside to having a good sense of humour and being able to laugh at yourself, is that people think you can't be hurt.

86

Whenever I delete an app on my phone,
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •

583

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

959

I LOVE LEARNING BAD THINGS ABOUT PEOPLE I DO NOT LIKE

21

I need a longer weekend,
because I need more time
to do absolutely nothing.

28

the difference between your opinion and chocolate is that I asked for chocolate.

28

Yeah a hot body is nice but so are those brownies over there.

31

*waiting outside harvard for cute nerdy potential billionaires*

24

time you enjoy wasting is not wasted.

(everytime i go on boldomactic)

19

oh, i'm sorry... did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

38

i'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you have one of the worst cases of terminal stupidity i have ever diagnosed.

27

People who
can fall asleep quickly freak
me out..
I mean, don't they have thoughts..?

41

I can never go swimming because it's always less than 30 minutes since I've last eaten.

38

I see 2007 and think "oh 3 years ago" and then it hits me that it was 8 fucking years ago.

25

Do you ever just like flex your foot wrong and it cramps and you're just like this is it, this is how it ends.

28

If I had $1 for every time I got called beautiful, I'd have $1.

Thanks mom.

37

11 year old kids crying over boyfriends and girlfriends

When I was 11 I cried about missing Hannah Montana episodes.

29

I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.

30

"You wore that before." Yes, because it's my shirt and I have a washing machine.

39

Spring is that delightful time of year when I watch Netflix with a window open.

51

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up & if that doesn't accurately describe my life, I don't know what does.

46

I wish I had Dora's parents, they let that bitch go everywhere.

58

It's funny because people think I'm quiet but I'm just listening to everyones convos and figuring out your weaknesses to destroy you later in life.

65

Don't be sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember... nobody loves you any other day of the year either.

67

Of course I talk to myself.

Sometimes I need expert advice.

74

Brains are awesome.

I wish everybody had one.

92

I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere.

82

I use sarcasm because it's illegal to kill

208

Exercise
Exercis
Exerci
Exerc
Exer
Exe
Ex
Extra fries.

72

Have you ever noticed that a woman's
"be ready in 5 minutes"
and a man's
"be home in 5 minutes"
are exactly the same?

108

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