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Posts Liked by hakalahakala

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eat a beaver.

11

If you want to embarrass an archaeologist,
give him a used tampon and ask which period it came from.

7

Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

6

SOME PEOPLE
SAY SORRY
IN THE TONE OF WHATEVER

199

I wish you could last as long in bed as you do in an argument.

99

Learn correct grammar, idiots.

8

I don't believe in guilty pleasures. If you fucking like something,

like it.

104

You know you're fucked when those late night thoughts start hitting you in the middle of the day..

162

does a hipster weigh an instagram?

18

It's almost time for bed, so I guess I'll just check boldomatic, twitter and instagram real quick and watch three seasons of a tv show on netflix

44

If you leave me a voice mail,
I'll reply with a postcard attached to a helium balloon.

35

we just use the future to escape the present

111

Less confrontation and more conversation.

90

Did you know, that 3-4 glasses of wine per day can reduce your risk of giving a shit.

143

note to self :
stop expecting

9

TO HEAL A WOUND YOU NEED TO STOP TOUCHING IT

6

Or how the most shit-stirring, unnecessary drama-causing motherfuckers, are always the ones asking, "Is all this drama really necessary?"

26

If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives.

40

Fuck what they say.
Watch what they do.

55

"Everything on your resume was a lie,
I like that.
Welcome to sales!"

30

oh, i'm sorry... did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

38

you either say how you feel and fuck it up

or say nothing and let it fuck you up instead

56

why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

85

STARBUCKS NEEDS A SEPARATE LINE FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE THEIR SHIT TOGETHER

52

Smile -
it confuses people.

51

They say "Do one thing a day that scares you", so today I'll rape a coyote.

30

Home is where them fuckers ain't.

42

Never argue with an idiot.

They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

12

People
who dont understand sarcasm
are awesome.

37

I've
NEVER
faked
a sarcasm
in my life.

56

absence may be the most powerful presence

43

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

566

Put someone's genitals into your mouth and no one bats an eye

eat a chip off the ground and everyone loses their minds.

95

CELLFISH (n);

Someone who continues to be on their phone while having a conversation with another person.

29

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