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Posts Liked by Gluecksnase

Sometimes,
even Google
can't help you.

221

du bist so blöd du stolperst über das wlan-kabel

32

Gonna put a selfie on top of the Christmas tree because I am the star •

102

Eating cereal in the shower isn't saving me as much time as I thought.

65

The most Ominous message I have *ever* received in Any social medium:

NSA is now following you

58

Dad, you've always been like a father to me.

84

The
difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza •

136

relationship starts with ...
"can we talk?"

and ends with ...
"we need to talk."

141

Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't.

129

The synonym for reality is offline.

226

The synonym for reality is offline.

102

Skinny girls think they are chubby,
chubby girls think they're fat
and fat girls think they can wear leggings •

196

If women ruled this world, there would be no wars.

Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

248

you're friday on monday

79

SEX, HUGS
AND SOCKS
WITH HOLES

70

I molested myself last night. I said no, but I knew I wanted it.

55

I don't make mistakes,
I date them.

309

WRITE SOMETHING
DRAW SOMETHING
SING SOMETHING
COOK SOMETHING
BUILD SOMETHING
SEW SOMETHING
MAKE SOMETHING

BUY NOTHING

250

i'm wearing my friday socks.

they're like normal socks, but they're ready to party.

264

When the cockroaches are wearing party hats, it's time to clean the kitchen.

224

I just took a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.

360

How am I meant to control my life I can’t even control my hair

254

i play the keyboard in a band called the internet

318

recently, i called my mother at 3 am. just to let her know how it is, when she calls me on sunday 1 pm.

279

wenn dich dein Leben nervt... streu Glitzer drauf

5

wer früher auf dem schulhof petzte, setzt heute seinen chef cc...

6

And I think to myself...

295

The sex was so good even the neighbours had a cigarette.

327

Let's do the rabbit thing.

269

Manche Frauen tun für ihr Äusseres Dinge für die jeder Gebrauchtwagenhändler in den Knast kommen würde...

16

I love my toilet. We've been through a lot of shit together.

24

all das osterzeugs geht mir auf die eier

26

laundry today
or
naked tomorrow

577

You are
the average of the five people you spend the most time with •

297

Morgens vor dem Waldorf Kindergarten:
"Mami, muss ich heute schon wieder das machen was ich will...?"

20

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