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Posts Liked by eternal_flames

If someone points at your black clothes and asks, whos funeral it is, you just look around the room, and answer, 'haven't decided yet.'

247

I like mysteries so I decided to become one.

137

i want to fuck you so bad right now.

damn autocorrect..

i meant hey.

175

If you find yourself, how will you know it's you?

109

Light is easy to love.

Show me your darkness.

175

I do not spew profanities.

I enunciate them properly like a fucking lady.

89

Beauty on the inside doesn't get you free drinks.

133

We can, we always could. We just never knew if we would. Never knew we should...

128

Whatever happens..

Don't use the bathroom in your dreams..

It's a setup!

116

middle fingers up if you dont give a fuck

146

I want to write a book that goes down like a shot of flaming absinthe.

98

DIFFICULT ROADS
OFTEN LEAD
TO BEAUTIFUL
DESTINATIONS

213

My boss doesn't like the nickname I gave him. It's awful to see Princess Dickhead crying.

201

I always start phone conversations with "my phone is about to die.." just so people don't waste my time.

238

Poor is the man whose pleasure depends on the permission of another.

193

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle

344

When ego is lost, limit is lost. You become infinite, kind, beautiful.

270

The prettiest people do the ugliest things.

284

What lies behind us,
what lies before us,
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

142

Maybe when we die, the first thing we'll say is:

"I know this feeling. I was here before."

135

Sometimes it feels like the only thing I can count on, are my fingers.

192

If you walk like a duck and you talk like a duck you're drunk. Ducks don't talk.

157

You don't need a cape to be a hero.

143

even if im the devil, wouldnt be the first time you shook my hand....

85

I almost had an "I need a guy moment" but then I was able to get the vodka open.

234

have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered...

"who ties your shoelaces for you?"

280

life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent.

201

One of the most cruel acts that a human can do to another human, is to cause a person to lose hope.

323

if these walls could talk, they'd say 'pick me up' & put me on 'em...

75

I just don't have the energy to shit butterflies and piss rainbows today.

178

you are the
tree standing
in the middle
of a hurricane
with both middle
fingers up in the air.

145

Ever tried to fart and pee at the same time?

Try hating and being happy!

100

Seeing a cockroach on your bed isn't the problem, the real problem would be if it disappeared. . . .

148

Past friendships haunt my phones contact list like ghosts. The names & numbers like epitaphs on gravestones.

132

I often think that

the night
is more
alive
and more
richly colored

than the day

40

Be careful When you Follow The
"MASSES"

Sometimes The
"M "
Is Silent ;-)

124

when people tell me "i'm going to regret that in the morning"

i sleep till noon because i'm a problem solver.

42

Of course size matters.....

Nobody wants a small cup of coffee.

218

I fear the people who can bite ice cream.

243

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...

278

C'EST
LA
FUCKING
VIE

231

As you move outside of your comfort zone, what was once the unknown and frightening becomes your new normal.

193

The world is full of nice people. If you can't find one...

be one.

324

"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."

148

Either I'm in love or i'm in trouble.

178

My body is a temple...

Unfortunately,
I have no respect for religion.

142

Staring is caring.

118

I don't HAVE to be on top of your inbox...

Missionary will do.

88

Twinkle, twinkle little star lead me to the nearest bar!

213

i hate it when people try to make small talk on the lift, "nice weather", "how are you today", "where's your pants"

124

People
who talk shit
will be reincarnated as toilet paper •

212

In which language would you prefer I tell you how much I do not give a shit?

I have my translator app open, fire away.

182

People who remind me of myself are the worst

167

Can't wait for the day some kid grows up and sues their parents for plastering their face all over the Internet.

194

i think therefore

i don't have much in common with a lot of people

236

The Dark Side does NOT have cookies!
But it does have waffles every Tuesday

152

Can february march?

No. But april may

310

goodnight, you said;
goodbye, i said.
and you never
thought twice
about
it.

149

Today a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.....apparently "in HD" was not the right answer...

345

I'm not saying I did terrible things last night, but Satan woke up on my couch and won't make eye contact with me...

245

I'm multitasking,

I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time

393

A piece of my heart breaks whenever your eyes skip over me.

By the time you leave, my heart'll be nothing more than broken shards.

138

If you're in a fairytale and you're a single woman over the age of 35, chances are you're evil.

224

I'M ON THAT NEW DIET WHERE YOU EAT EVERYTHING AND HOPE FOR A BIG MIRACLE.

244

If you ran like your mouth, you'd be in good shape.

177

may the bridges I burn light the way

205

Better grab my dumbrella.

It's really stupid out there today.

294

They tell me I'm weak, but I am strong. They tell me I'm worthless, but I am loved by many. They tell me I am nothing, but someday I'll be everything to someone.

252

Some talk to you in their free time
&
some free time to talk to you

270

If I were a gardener, I'd put my tulips and your tulips together.

150

If you have to ask if it's too early to drink wine, you're an amateur and we can't be friends.

189

A world where we are smarter than our phones

182

I want to sleep for two years and wake up with a degree, an apartment and money in the bank

269

Stop asking WHY I'm still single.

I don't ask how you're still married.

219

My only regret is having regrets

and not sneaking more food out of the buffet. dammit!

96

Please wait for your iOS 8 upgrade for some more time if you want to continue using Boldomatic the way you know it.

38

You're as annoying as that app that turns sideways when I lay down.

215

we are all moths to the flame for

somebody

84

You.
Me.
Bed.
Now.

194

My biography will be titled "Be Yourself And Other Ways To Stay Single."

269

Wow, that was rather inappropriate.

Let's be friends.

193

Time to go to bed.

I have a life to pretend to have tomorrow.

222

Find someone who knows you're not perfect but treats you
as if you are.

328

Calm down gas tank.We're all empty on the inside.

145

Intellectual is the new hipster.

132

Dear Life

Please stop fucking me in broad daylight.
I would much rather prefer it under the cover of darkness.

yours sincerely
me

173

Work until your idols become your rivals.

298

You know something bad is about to happen when someone says

"Hold my beer and watch this."

214

There is no planet "B".

153

I need a hug or 6 shots of vodka.

264

Sometimes I feel useless but then
I remember
I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

394

we had been trying to be adults for so long, and it wasn't until we were 18 and laying on the bathroom floor drunk that we realized that age is just a number and reality is learning that there is no such thing as being an adult, you only grow older, and if you're lucky,
a little wiser

219

I Was Born To Be Awesome, Not Perfect.

338

Music always puts me in a better wood.

151

I had a great time last night...well thats what the police report says.

238

My
normal
has
never
been
anything
but
not
normal.

144

TONIGHT...
WE
ARE
YAWN

90

A fuck must be earned. I can't go down the street with a bucket of fucks, giving them out to everyone.
If I feel that you've earned it, I will give a fuck.

321

rap is like scissors it always loses to rock

182

the future smells
sweeter
than
ever

156

Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

452

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else -

is the greatest accomplishment

277

Potatoes give us french fries and vodka.

It's your move, celery.

231

it's not a Sunday unless you completely waste it then feel really sad around 8pm

337

CAN I KISS YOU?
BUT REALLY I MEAN CAN I SWAP SPIT WITH YOU AT AN ACUTE ANGLE WHILE DROWNING

94

I heard you should question everything, but why?

176

Life is like a Bollywood movie: colorful, humorous, and usually you have no idea what the fuck is going on.

289

All of the
trees are
awash in
the colors
of sunset.

60

Have you ever noticed that a woman's
"be ready in 5 minutes"
and a man's
"be home in 5 minutes"
are exactly the same?

289

The word "Listen" has the same letters as the word "Silent".

"So Shut Up"

249

your demons and
mine want to have dinner some time.

188

Don't be ashamed of who you are.

That's your parents job.

270

getting no message is also a message...

258

for halloween this year we should all just dress up as who we really are

nobody would recognize anyone

211

ugh

please get off my head I'm trying to have some time for myself

125

The world will only end once

122

Love is a language spoken by everybody but understood only by the heart.

158

lazy is a very strong word.
i like to call it selective participation.

279

Love what you have before life teaches you to love what you've lost.

284

I like people the way I like my tea.

I hate tea.

236

( ' } { ' )

154

If you asked me how many times you have crossed my mind I would say once, because you never really left.

289

SO SCARED AND EXCITED

like when you have to poop and the bathroom is in Narnia

93

I just arrived at that point of the week where I want it to be friday or go back to bed..

155

I was talking to a nice, old woman at a party. She asked me, "Is that your accent, or do you have a condition?"

85

If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, you're brave enough to ask that girl out.

217

The word avacado comes from the Aztec word ahucati which means testicle.

I'll never eat guacamole again!

77

Selfie is the proof that smartphone and internet have made people so alone that they don't find a friend who can take a pic.

250

Apple CEO announces he's gay. Samsung CEO announces he's more gay and water resistant.

244

K
C
U
F

94

See you all in church.

Just kidding, meet you at the bar.

176

It's not that I'm tired.

It's just that I don't like standing on my feet with my eyes open.

173

Only trust people who like big butts.

They cannot lie.

221

FRENCH PEOPLE ARE SO HARDCORE THEY EAT "PAIN" FOR BREAKFAST.

190

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous.

I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I'm very disappointed with all of you.

163

Sometimes, navigating through the world wide web can be like trying to play a first person shooter using chopsticks to control
the keyboard and mouse.

52

It's not easy being psychic, but I already knew that.

101

This year I'm secretly stuffing the turkey with marijuana so everyone can relax and enjoy my cooking for once.

164

goosebumps.

when the soul comes too close to the skin, trying to burst free into the world, either in ecstasy or in fear

148

Thanks for pretending not to see me when I was pretending not to see you in order to avoid a miserably awkward conversation that neither of us wanted to have.

193

24 shopping days days left until your loved ones find out how little you understand them.

125

sad people
love the rain
because they are
no longer crying alone

216

It's not that diabetes,
heart disease and obesity
runs in your family. It's that no one runs in your
family.

203

I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive:

"Hi".

159

Drop pants
not bombs.

137

That moment between Netflix episodes where you see your reflection on the black screen and wonder what the fuck you're doing with your life

234

Shout out to everyone who has seriously looked up whether it was legal to marry food

103

I miss you a little... I guess you could say, a little too often, a little too much...

169

Karma means i can rest easy at night knowing all the people i treated badly today had it pretty much coming.

176

And here starts another week without me being rich or famous.

182

Listening to a bird is like listening to a woman.

Nice voice but impossible to understand.

183

I like the idea that someone, somewhere is made for you, forever.

225

It's been almost 3 years since the end of the world in 2012.

152

In 1814 Women had no rights

In 1914 Women fought for some rights

In 2014 Women are always fucking right

222

your bumper sticker will not change my mind

78

tomorrow (noun)

a mystical land where 99 percent of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.

201

what if the best is yet to come and this was only the first part of the run...

161

do not wear your mistletoe belt buckle to your office christmas party!!

76

Me: I want a magical unicorn for Christmas!

Santa: Be realistic.

Me: OK, I want 5 minutes to myself each day to have my coffee hot and pee in peace.

Santa: What colour unicorn would you like?

185

die with memories,
not dreams.

329

Evoke emotions with your writing.
Let them see worlds their eyes never will and remember lessons their minds will not forget.
Pour out your heart on the page so that they may soak it into theirs.

136

Let's get drunk
and tell each other how
we really feel •

248

My favorite mythical creature is the happy bitch in tampon commercials.

237

santa gets all the credit

and i get all the bills...

177

Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.

265

You know it's cold out when you fall down and dent the ground with your nipples.

153

we live long enough to realize we don't live long

201

page 365 of 365

129

I'm opening a gym called "Resolutions". It will have exercise equipment in it for the first two weeks, then it turns into a bar for the rest of the year.

255

YOUR
PHONE SCREEN
IS BRIGHTER THAN YOUR FUTURE.

275

Keep trying to raise the bar.
Even when they try to use it, to beat the shit out of you.

161

Let's be nothing, I heard it lasts forever.

310

Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye.

369

well fuck, there went my new year's resolution!

182

Break rules, not hearts.

410

It's like I'm the only drunk person at this yoga class.

279

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And I find it kinda funny I find it kinda sad The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

27

An infinite wall of infinite possibilities.

16

rules are like
bubble wrap
which are so
fun to pop,

even when the
air is all gone.

17

"It's just a spider."

And Hell is just a sauna.

23

my twisted
brain will
always have deeper essence
than your squared

head.

17

"Maybe in a few years I'll
be able to explain things
better, but after a few
years it probably won't
matter anymore, will it?"

18

nobody's immune
to love

19

Never argue with an idiot.

They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

47

Isn't it funny how no one ever notices your sadness, or your pain, your loneliness or you for who you really are, but they always seem to notice your little imperfections and your mistakes.

its sad that they don't have the ability to just except you as the wonderful & loving person you know you can be.

16

I am free
no matter what rules
surround me

if I find them tolerable
I tolerate them
if I find them too obnoxious
I break them

I am free
because I know that
I alone am
morally responsible
for everything
I do

30

"A dream, all a dream,
that ends in nothing,
and leaves the sleeper where he lay down,
but I wish you to know
that you inspired it."

22

you may say i'm a dreamer but i am not the only one.
i hope someday you'll join us and the world will live as one.

37

Till I loved
I never lived

enough

23

Every action has a sarcastic and genuinly unhelpful reaction.

27

Where there is desire, there is going to be a flame, where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned.

13

Some people are old at the age of 18 and some are young at 90.

Time is a concept created by humans. So go on, be a tiger.

28

her life
improved dramatically
when she
decided to
break the rules
and find beauty
where she'd
been told there
was none

20

and if you're gonna leave
someone at least tell them why,
because what's more painful than
being abandoned is knowing you
aren't worth an explanation.

40

You inspire my inner serial killer •

55

There are no rules. That is how art is born, how breakthroughs happen. Go against the rules or ignore the rules. That is what invention is about.

20

I've fallen into an
abyss.

It's okay though,
there is music here.

29

best moments happen when they are unplanned

27

i bought shoes from a drug dealer...

i don't know what he laced them with but i've been tripping all day.

100

I believe in everything until it's disproved.
So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons.
It all exists, even if it's in your mind.
Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?

• John Lennon

58

if extra point were given for creativity in the answers, I'd have destroyed that exam...

24

Death
cannot stop
true love

All
it can do is

delay it

for a while

23

I haven't cursed all day.

I'm a fucking gentleman.

26

Of course women don't work as hard as men...

They get it right the first time.

53

no matter
what they
tell you,
you don't
have to
stay within
the lines

24

To the world you may just be one person, but to one person you just may be the world.

16

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does that remind you of your life?

26

Don't let them change your mind.
Don't let them break your pride. Stay strong. It won't be long. Just until you've won the fight.

19

We were all humans until race disconnected us, religion separated us, politics divided us and wealth classified us.

29

You never realize how
lonely you are until it's
the end of the day and
you got a bunch of stuff
to talk about and no one
to tell it to.

45

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart

28

They tell me I'm weak, but I am strong. They tell me I'm worthless, but I am loved by many. They tell me I am nothing, but someday I'll be everything to someone.

48

I think one of the scariest things in
this world is that you'll never know
what people's intentions are with you.

29

Can't wait for the day some kid grows up and sues their parents for plastering their face all over the Internet.

47

She never looked nice.
She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something

66

The greatest crimes in the world are not committed by people breaking the rules but by people following the rules. It's people who follow orders that drop bombs and massacre villages.

34

There are five types of fear.

1. terror
2: panic
3. 14 missed calls from mom
4: username or password is incorrect
5. we need to talk

67

You were wild once,

don't let them tame you.

56

I could stay awake just to
hear you breathing
Watch you smile while
you are sleeping
While you're far away
and dreaming
I could spend my life in this
sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this
moment forever
Every moment spent with
you is a moment I treasure

50

Girls lose weight and their tits get smaller. Guys lose weight and their dicks look bigger... Not fair.

79

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