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Posts Liked by erjon

I have risen from the ashes. My life proves it, my tattoo shows it!

5

Today would be a great day to leave a note on a random car saying: " I know what you did"

17

the only day i like going to work is payday

18

my therapist is crying.

maybe it was a little too much for him...

86

I ordered a life alert bracelet, if I ever get a life I'll be notified immediately.

91

Today would be a great day to leave a note on a random car saying: " I know what you did"

117

I know the voices aren't real but man do they come up with some great ideas

117

MILLION DOLLAR IDEA.

A SMOKE DETECTOR THAT TURNS OFF WHEN YOU YELL "I'M JUST COOKING FOR FUCKS SAKE"

99

There are two kinds of people in life: Those who walk into a room and say "Well here I am" and those who walk into a room and say "Ahh there you are"

105

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

133

sugar melts in the rain
Sadly shit floats

77

Don't judge a person for drinking and swearing, judge the quiet sober ones.
Those fuckers are up to something.

113

The most annoying thing about people is remembering you are one of them.

119

Picking up dog poo...that's loyalty.

67

If you're easy to get . . .

You'll be easy to forget . . .

123

I’m starting to think I’m white enough to play Michael Jackson.

61

Love is unconditional. Love is, "I know you're a fucking psycho maniac, but I'm willing to deal with that."

117

I just ate soup in the bathtub.

What have you done with your life?

66

you will never look like the girl in the magazine, the girl in the magazine doesn't even look like the girl in the magazine.

131

ONLY CAPS LOCK CAN CAPTURE THE GREATNESS OF LIFE

56

I'm not crazy, my reality is just diffrent from yours

120

The word diarrhea.
Looks like it was written in a hurry.

78

The milk has a Feb. 14th expiration date, and that's the only thing in my house with a valentines date.

99

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murdereres, if you do find one, what's your plan?

123

I'm not necessarily saying I want to be rich but it would be nice to not have to check my bank account before purchasing Ramen noodles

106

listen carefully to what people don't say

162

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