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Posts Liked by el-loco

Irony is 15 year old mothers using protective covers on their smartphones

194

Yeah, you're pretty from a distance...
at night... under a rock.

115

$oooO ( ) \ ( \,,,,) Oooo ( ) ) / (,,,,/ Catch Me If You Can$

61

I hate it when the voices in my head go silent...

I never know what those fuckers are planning...

164

I visited my psycho- therapist the other day...

he cried a lot.

68

Love is for lovers.
Beer is for drinkers.
I love beer.
Date me.

61

It's not the dress that makes you look fat....

... it's the fat!

121

paradise is always a long way from home.

62

Year 2021 iPhone 69s is released.

The screen touches your balls.

13

Endlich Weekend.

Endlich Party, Alkohol und Sex.

Nur noch kurz Mama anrufen, wie lange ich heute aufbleiben darf.

19

I don't have a dirty mind. I just have a sexy imagination!

17

the
only
DATES
i get are

UPDATES

143

Guter Sex
ist das
Aaaahhhhhh
und
Ooooohhhh.

17

Ich mag es nicht wenn man mir sagt, was ich zu tun habe.

ausser ich bin nackt.

15

You're mind is so dirty, that you need to take a shower.

P.S. Don't forget to invite me!

18

Morgen zeige ich euch, wie man mit wenigen Handgriffen alles nur noch viel schlimmer macht.

14

Biting the pillow is the best form of breakfast in bed.

47

Memories are wonderful to make, but sometimes painful to remember.

31

Viele Leute schwimmen mit dem Strom, andere schwimmen gegen den Strom. Ich hingegen stehe irgendwo im Wald und finde den blöden Fluss nicht.

22

Thanks to the people that walked in to my life and made it better and thanks to the ones who walked out and made it amazing!

31

You can tell a lot about a woman's mood by her hands

For instance, if they are holding a gun, she's probably angry

60

HOME IS
WHERE THE WIFI
CONNECTS AUTOMATICALLY

32

Life seems like the slowest form of suicide.

51

Cold weather is the perfect excuse
for cuddling •

24

We need
fantasy
to survive reality •

1

Never try
to fuck up someones life
with a lie when yours can be destroyed with
the truth •

25

Frauen über 40 sind Diamanten. Geschliffen, gehärtet unzerstörbar und gnadenlos, aber bedenke: Wenn eine Frau über 40 ein Auge zudrückt, dann nur um zu zielen.

10

90% of my socks are single, and you don't see them crying about it

148

The new iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world.

I'm sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.

73

home is where the pants aren't

52

look,
my middlefinger
likes you

57

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

25

Men: if you ever want to know what a woman's mind feels like,imagine a browser with 2,837 tabs open.

All.The.Time.

135

NSA liked
a post
of yours

78

Wenn du nach den Sternen greifst, solltest du dir vorher die Achselhaare rasieren.

58

feel free to cry under me.

6

Can you
FUCK
read between
YOU
the lines.

82

I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY
AND MAYBE
A LITTLE BIT NAKED.

145

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