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Posts Liked by Ein_Gebildeter

ladies, if you think your man is cheating take him to that bitch's frontdoor and see if his wifi connects automatically

108

slut

a woman
with the
morals of a
man

56

Don't be ashamed of who you are.

That's your parents job.

82

I regret some of the things I said last night......

I came up with way better insults this morning

84

I tried to be nice, I really did,
but then you opened your mouth.

86

Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

240

I'm not creepy enough

So people sit next to me on the bus

54

I'm not sure if
I hate my work

Or just hate working

38

I am not saying I am in love with you. I am just saying that if you were to fall, I would be the first person to pick you up

1

Läuft.

Zwar rückwärts und bergab.

Aber es läuft!

10

Conversation starter:

"I don't like people."

39

The more I try to understand women, the more I love dogs.

3

If 'plan A' didn't work the alphabet has 25 more letters.

Stay cool!

4

The
difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza •

147

Kiss me like your ex is watching

74

I don't care if you think I'm insane.

The unicorn who visits me in the night time says
I don't and
I believe him.

154

I HATE BEING
BIPOLAR
IT IS AWESOME

340

Never depend on someone else to make you happy, that's what alcohol is for.

103

Sometimes I feel useless but then
I remember
I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

115

lazy is a very strong word.
i like to call it selective participation.

279

Viele sagen Zürich sei eingebildet, dabei gibt
es die Stadt wirklich.

139

It's not easy being psychic, but I already knew that.

101

Thanks for pretending not to see me when I was pretending not to see you in order to avoid a miserably awkward conversation that neither of us wanted to have.

193

K
C
U
F

94

See you all in church.

Just kidding, meet you at the bar.

176

I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive:

"Hi".

159

tomorrow (noun)

a mystical land where 99 percent of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.

201

you were my cup of tea,

but I drink champagne now

40

there is nothing better than the smell of coffee
in the morning

combined with morning sex

19

Mit Oralsex geweckt zu werden ist toll, es sei denn, man ist im Zug mit offenem Mund eingeschlafen!

15

phases of sex during man's life:

triweekly,
try weekly
and try weakly.

23

P L A Y

W I T H

M E

16

There are five things we need in life:

• Good Friends
• Good Job
• Good Food
• Good Sleep
• Good _uck

Whatever you're thinking is right.

21

Stop acting like God's gift to women...

The gift was
the Orgasm, You're just the messenger boy...

23

One of the advantages of being a man is that chocolate doesn't control you.

Disadvantage: Sex does.

Relevant: Chocolate is easier to get.

28

I'm a gentleman.

My Dick stands up so women can sit down.

31

SEX WITH ME

•priceless•

32

men use love to get sex. women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza

58

Biting the pillow is the best form of breakfast in bed.

47

If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors...

and all of them got laid.

64

Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever...

72

You must be tired after everything
we did in my dreams last night.

143

You remind me of my big toe, cause i'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own

273

I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive:

"Hi".

56

KarmaSutra:
When fate fucks you in all sorts of creative ways.

37

Single
by
choice

Just
not
my
choice

64

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

459

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

312

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