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Posts Liked by DaveF16

sometimes the person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.

120

Sun goes down earlier for short people.

279

I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

250

quit your job
travel the world
die happy

173

Don't start your day with the
broken pieces of yesterday.
Every morning we wake up is the
first day of the rest of our life.

54

A world

with a little less selfies

and a little more selfless.

244

You remind me of my big toe, cause i'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own

273

Without nipples, boobs would be pointless.

104

* * * *
* * *
Decembrrr
* * *
* * * *

73

It's not that diabetes,
heart disease and obesity
runs in your family. It's that no one runs in your
family.

203

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous.

I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I'm very disappointed with all of you.

95

FRENCH PEOPLE ARE SO HARDCORE THEY EAT "PAIN" FOR BREAKFAST.

61

A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn.

22

I would rather be alone by myself than alone with somebody else.

30

I wake up with a good attitude everyday.

Then idiots happen.

60

If kindness determined income, would you have anything to show?

19

I don't have enough middle fingers for today.

33

I'm not sure where you learned to whisper but I'm guessing inside a helicopter surrounded by chainsaws.

41

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

959

I can think of absolutely no acceptable situation where a grown man should be taking a bathroom mirror selfie.

211

Fireflies, tiny fairies, solstitial bandits, steal pieces of the sun to paint the night for romantic interludes

94

You're not fat! C'mon, chin up.

No, the other one...

195

The blurred picture around the smartphone is called life.

261

Maybe she's not on her period... Maybe you are just an asshole....

256

If the phone doesn't ring,
it's me.

178

I dont have exes, I have Y's. Y the fuck did I date you?

180

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