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Posts Liked by craigblaze

just saw a guy at starbucks.
no iphone, no tablet, no laptop.

he just sat there drinking coffee.

fucking psychopath.

113

I'm an animal in bed.

More specifically a koala. I can sleep up to 22 hours a day.

146

You don't get rich in this field. You lead a rich life. Those are two different things. And I'll take the latter.

2

You speak like something
I wrote when
I was drunk.

113

If you are going to be weird,
be confident about it.

117

When you have more than you need build a bigger table - not a higher fence.

141

An
optimist is a pessimist that just got drunk.

32

The war on drugs brought in more drugs.
The war on terror created more terrorists.
Maybe next year we can have a war on money and jobs and see where it goes . . .

114

YESTERDAY
I REALLY WANTED A BURRITO.
TODAY I AM EATING A BURRITO.
FOLLOW YOUR FUCKING DREAMS.

105

Don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life.

20

The older I get, the less I care about what others think of me

18

Time is just a word for a condition we barely understand.

17

growing up is for trees

12

Hipster is what happens when you tell your child they are so very special.

16

I will stop wearing black when another colour becomes equally as dark.

97

Well, well, well, if this isn't my inability to cope with temptation.

13

I used to be fucking stupid.
But then we broke up.

35

When I'm bored, I send a text to a random number saying

"I hid the body...now what?"

69

I wake up everyday intending to be productive and then a voice in my head says "Haha good one!" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.

62

I love gay people.
Or as I sometimes call them, "people."

107

I don't have a Facebook or Twitter account, so I just go around announcing out loud what I'm doing at random times. I've got three followers so far but I think at least two are cops.

135

Hi, how much is the rent for this amazing apartment?
But sir...this is a liquor store.

24

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again.

43

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.

16

Finally my winter fat is gone...

Now I have spring rolls...

10

Did you know, that 3-4 glasses of wine per day can reduce your risk of giving a shit.

143

well fuck, there went my new year's resolution!

182

It's not that diabetes,
heart disease and obesity
runs in your family. It's that no one runs in your
family.

203

I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive:

"Hi".

159

KarmaSutra:
When fate fucks you in all sorts of creative ways.

19

Listening to a bird is like listening to a woman.

Nice voice but impossible to understand.

183

Me: I want a magical unicorn for Christmas!

Santa: Be realistic.

Me: OK, I want 5 minutes to myself each day to have my coffee hot and pee in peace.

Santa: What colour unicorn would you like?

185

I don't know, let's try 'password'.

#sony

1

People complain about auto correct but it’s helpful 99% of the titties.

95

Arrogance
is
not confidence.

59

old soul.
adult body.
teenage love.

25

drunk me loves creating awkward encounters for sober me

19

if you love someone, let them sleep.

42

STOP PRESSING REPLAY ON THE THINGS THAT NEED TO BE DELETED FROM YOUR LIFE

140

The
difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza •

136

Can you
FUCK
read between
YOU
the lines.

82

NSA liked
a post
of yours

78

sorry girls, I can't answer all 0 messages at once

21

Wow, it's really super hot outside today probably.

12

Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.

170

Let's play
"Your clothes don't like you."

80

Can't Stop Drinking About You

95

One rule:

people without close friends are untrustworthy.

8

TIME DOES NOT EXIST

18

Oh, you're dating my ex?

Cool, I'm eating a sandwich.
Want those leftovers too?

75

"Trust me,
you can dance!"

~Vodka

60

Let the bitch bark

11

FIND SOMETHING TO DIE FOR
AND LIVE FOR IT

35

if it is important, you will find a way. if not, you'll find an excuse.

16

just
remember;
someone loves
everything you
hate about yourself.

38

I like
your
positive
shit

31

BEER
N°5

11

what's the difference between a homeless guy and a hipster?

-the iPhone

99

just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard.

PILLOW FIGHT ?!

13

I'll write down everything I have learned and edit it down to a single word LOVE

12

decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

16

PEOPLE WAIT

ALL WEEK FOR
FRIDAY

ALL YEAR FOR SUMMER

ALL LIFE FOR HAPPINESS

26

Oh, you're dating my ex?

Cool, I'm eating a sandwich.
Want those leftovers too?

117

there ain't no shortcuts to any place worth going.

welcome the pain.

12

Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't.

129

YOU SAY POTATO

I SAY VODKA

20

to me 'drink responsibly' means don't spill it.

106

The best mind altering drug is truth

63

90% of my socks are single, and you don't see them crying about it

148

Be happy, it drives people crazy!

31

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

81

I AM ALREADY AGAINST THE NEXT WAR

59

J'ai demandé ma route au mur, il m'a dit d'aller tout droit.

9

There's no such thing as small change.

12

trust me,
you can dance.

10

everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear.

115

rules of life

LOVE | DREAM big | be grateful | Keep Your Promises | have FUN | BE HAPPY | SharE | TRY out NEW things | Know That You Are Loved | LISTEN | Laugh out LouD | be REAL | ALWAYS say the TrutH | Forgive | HUG OFTEN

7

I wouldn't say you're stupid.

You are.
But I wouldn't say it.

129

I wonder if the clothes in China
say, 'made around the corner'.

76

If you really think the environment is less important than the economy try holding your breath while you count your money.

- Dr. Guy McPherson

16

I love you so much I want to move to a country where I can legally own you

276

Do not have unprotected
text.

244

YOU CAN'T STOP THE WAVES BUT YOU CAN LEARN TO SURF.

38

When two hearts race, both win.

26

Hey there Friday,
I've been waiting to see your sexy ass since Monday...let's do this.

316

Life is like a camera. Just focus on what's important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don't turn out - take another shot.

33

I wish I could trade my heart for another liver so I could drink more and care less.

313

for a
pessimist,

i'm pretty
optimistic.

24

LET'S MAKE OUT

23

o

VINYL RULES

21

Let's do the rabbit thing.

269

and then we grew up

23

Trust
but
verify.

44

THE MOST DANGEROUS THING TO WANT IS

MORE.

55

finally friday.

462

Carpe Noctem

Seize The Night.

261

I WANT TO HAVE TEXT WITH YOU.

326

STRESSED

spelled
backward
is

DESSERTS

363

i'm sorry
for what
i said when i was hungry.

251

Everything is made in China. Except babies. They are made in vaChina.

265

what ever happened to sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll?
all we've got left is aids, crack and techno!

179

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women either.

317

touché.

274

Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.

259

hell yeah
its friday.

219

It's better to be late, than to arrive ugly.

449

Don't add winky face emoticons to anything unless you want me to take it sexually.

265

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