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All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. (Walt Disney)

6

Don't Run if You're Not Being Chased

8

Always remember to fall asleep with a dream and wake up with a purpose

25

If you are lonely when you are alone, you are bad company.

57

The gym.

As if an architect was asked to design
the otiosity of life.

The result: a room
full of machines
going nowhere.

79

I don't always have time but when I do, I don't.

78

Here, take
my advice.
I'm not using
it anyway.

88

Being unique, just like everyone else.

79

The only thing that remains the same is that nothing will.

59

Less is

83

o
MO N

71

It's never too late to be late.

67

You don't
make friends with loneliness.

68

Politricks.

100

Think
less
more

70

I think that new Coca-Cola line, i.e. "taste the feeling", could as easily have been a Durex-slogan to promote its flavoured condoms.

81

When the
world zigs,
zag.

55

Great minds think.

46

Today's therapy session for people with separation anxiety is cancelled due to the fact that last week's session hasn't finished yet.

75

"Is it dark in there?"
- "Don't know, I can't
see a thing."

54

Alcohol damaged my short-term memory,
my long-time memory, but also my short-term memory.

63

"Mind your step"
is a comment
that belongs on
a minefield.

77

If you need
some space
for yourself
to be alone,
try Google+

86

Add a few dots in
the end to make your sentence appear more meaningful...

72

"Do you say 'trousers'
or 'pants' more often?"
- "It de-pants."

36

To all of you alcoholics: stop drinking.

I don't like competition.

32

My parents-in-law don't have children, so I'm still single.

60

Freddy wasn't bold. "I'm more the italic type of guy", he claimed.

16

I wish I was two
dogs so I could play together.

37

Wish
thoughtful.

50

Aren't you that guy they always mix up with that other guy?

57

"Silence
is golden",
he said.

30

"Why do you always
have to procrastinate everything?"
- "Can we talk about
that later?"

70

Freddy wanted presence for his birthday.

34

"Cheap"also
costs money.

42

Every sixty seconds a minute passes.

30

I used to be indecisive.
Now, I'm not
quite so sure anymore.

26

"Sorry I broke
your arm."
- "It's fine, I have another one."

30

"Oh, a baby girl! Do you have a name already?"
- "Yes, mine is Laura and my husband's is Pete."

29

Judgement Day?

Sorry, can't.

40

With the right
sunglasses,
it's easy to
see things in a
different light.

28

Tomorrow
is often
the busiest
day of the week.

29

Whenever I'm at the supermarket and I see one of those stacks of "grandma's apple pie", this image pops up in
my head of a sweatshop with all the grannies in
it baking pie like mad.

39

Draw shocked faces on the oranges in your refrigerator so the fruit looks busted when you open it.

31

Who am I
to question
myself?

29

"My sandwich was thrown on the railroad."
- "On purpose?"
"No, on the railroad."

26

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.

35

"What would you do if you were paralyzed?"
- "Nothing."

28

Freddy pointed out cups of tea that weren't his.

19

"Are you on Facebook?"
- "No, on business travel."

22

There is nothing worse than your phone charger getting stuck in
the wheels of your office chair and
that afterwards your parents die
in a forest fire.

74

People who suffer from Parkinson's disease make excellent cocktail shakers.

24

Cooking with celebrities Step 4. Add Sheeran.

28

Well I'd certainly put my tongue in your cheeck.

35

"Dad, what is a miscarriage?"
- "You."

29

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

63

If you want many
people to attend
your funeral, you
better die young.

31

The worst thing about
online dating is seven
year olds pretending
to be an overweight,
fifty-something year
old single from Idaho
who recently got fired
because of some stupid reorganization.

37

The less clothes, the more naked.

14

I'm glad someone invented punctuation comma since it makes left parenthesis when used properly right parenthesis reading much comma much easier in general exclamation mark

22

First
world problems
first.

26

I'm awfully afraid that I might have hypochondriasis.

23

Freddy believed he could fly before R. Kelly did.

20

What's
the hurry, Harry?

13

You can't
prevent the
future.

16

Always when I'm at the end of my money, there's a piece
of month left.

22

Freddy's brother
Lawrence was so
boring that his
presence often
stayed unnoticed.

12

The anchor man of
the evening news
always starts saying "good evening" and
then he proceeds
telling you why it is
in fact not a good
evening.

18

To calculate your Body Mass Index, you simply divide the hours in total you spend on Netflix per day by the distance from your flat to the nearest fast food joint.

29

I couldn't care less, but I would if I could.

31

Towels
get wet
while
drying.

14

Freddy lived
near a bridge
too far.

12

Although some might claim the opposite, my writing skills are quite versatile.

My vocabulary
for instance, is
quite versatile.

64

From his point of
view, Freddy had
a few points.

11

Freddy called a day "a day" too.

12

Sometimes Freddy
accidentally spoke
French. But he always
pardoned himself for
doing so. Then he'd
explain that "pardon"
is in fact French too.

10

A couple of years
ago, Freddy pulled
strings for a living.
He was a sublime
marionettist.

10

The current population of India is 1,323,490,684 as
of April 16, 2016 based on the latest United Nations estimations. Which is quite a lot of people. But did you know that if you would put all of them in one room, they would be like wtf are we doing here get me out.

10

Freddy founded an organisation against keeping elephants
in rooms.

11

After Freddy sold his house in the middle
of Nowhere, he moved to Somewhere in the East.

9

O, shoot.
I never joke about guns.

17

I'm not autistic; it's just that there are as many i's in this line as there are a's.

19

Game Of Thrones
/ Spoiler

(.) (.) (o)(o) (°)(°)

(') (') ? ? {.}{.}

(O)(O) (o )( o) (0)(0)

8

Stop making sense.

18

A fully grown
hippopotamus
consists for 43%
of rhubarb.

8

Freddy goes to the same tailor as the wolf in sheep's clothing.

11

"It's my birthday."
- "Again?"

9

Freddy once punched a rabbit.
But that was self-defense.

8

New York City is huge.
Did you know that if you would empty hundreds
of swimmingpools on it, the New Yorkers would be like aah run for your life

6

If there only was a word that describes what I think of people who use the word "haughty."

5

/ Take a random book
/ Now go to page 112
/ Find the 7th sentence
/ Pat gently an orange
/ Become a lumberjack
/ Meet a Mipsy

5

Reality is very much like virtual reality but without the virtual.

5

Not many people
know that, before becoming god of the underworld, Hades
was working as doorkeeper in Hotel Diament Arsenal between Chorzów and Katowice in Poland.

4

I couldn't row but luckily Lisa Kudrow.

23

Suicide is away of life

91

"Is this dance music?"
- "No, it's John's."

33

Comme
des
fuckdown

16

We need to start worrying about what kind of world we are going to leave for Keith Richards.

37

Manuel Neuer is a great asset to the team.

He is definitely
a keeper.

38

My favourite Facebook notifications
are the ones
telling me
someone's
birthday was
yesterday.

43

I just feel the need to mention something Nice about France.

53

Numbers are weird.
Odd even.

73

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