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Posts Liked by Beenie12k

Do you ever start telling your parents a funny story then remember what had happened was illegal.

5

I don't do drugs or drink.

At my age, I get the same effect just standing up too fast.

9

Half the world's starving;

the other half is trying to lose weight.

14

men use love to get sex. women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza

58

Yeah, you're pretty from a distance...
at night... under a rock.

83

-Police: 'Knock Knock'
-Me: Who is it?
-Police: It's the Police!
-Me: What do you want?
-P: We just wanna talk.
-M: How many of you are there?
-P: 2
-M: Then Talk to each other

102

Love is like farting.
If you have to force it, then it's probably shit.

180

Did you know that if you put your ear up a strangers leg you can hear them say:
What the fuck are you doing?!?

258

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