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Posts Liked by Andy-bee

If your idea of freedom is not universally applicable to all beings, then it is not freedom you believe in, but a form of elitism, and tyranny over others.

5

THINKING OF YOUR EX!

"WAS I DRUNK THE ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP?"

8

Shhh... this is my favourite song

* sits quietly
for 3 minutes
57 seconds

11

I was the warmest place you knew and you turned me cold.

7

Exercise makes you look better naked

So does Tequila

Your choice

23

ALL PARTS OF THE HUMAN BODY GETS TIRED EVENTUALLY...
EXCEPT FOR THE TONGUE.

11

I HOPE ALIENS FROM SPACE DON'T LAND IN THE UNITED STATES
AND SAY "TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
HOW EMBARRISSING WOULD THAT BE?

19

Unequal pay is unacceptable in the eyes of children.

Why should we accept this as adults?

26

The hidden message in every belief system is that you are not enough as you
are...

9

hope all that effort we spend on choosing carefully at least gives fate a good a laugh

7

Trust is the most important thing
in a relationship..
and by trust I
mean sex •

30

DO YOU KNOW WHAT SEX POSITION'S CREATE UGLY KID'S,
ASK YOUR MOM APPARENTLY SHE KNOW'S EVERYTHING!

24

There are four basic human needs; food, sleep, sex and revenge.

47

You can't ruin a friendship with sex.

That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

31

you know what rhymes with drunk...

sex.

46

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.

Unless you' re in prison.

76

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

63

If I'm still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don't deserve a sandwich.

128

Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. Me? I use coupons to get pizza...

78

BEFORE SEX...YOU HELP EACH OTHER GET NAKED, AFTER SEX YOU ONLY DRESS YOURSELF.

MORAL OF THE STORY: IN LIFE NO ONE HELPS YOU

ONCE YOU'RE FUCKED.

325

others have sex in the kitchen, I eat in bed

367

Doggystyle

7

Monday? I told you to fuck off last week

8

I need a better reason to get up than "because it's morning"

9

Just got a honey nut cheerio stuck to the bottom of my sock while walking through the kitchen. Clearly the dogs aren't doing their part of the chores around here.

10

I may not be that funny or smart or athletic or good looking or talented or rich I forgot where I was going with this I need a drink

14

She was the kind of darkness he could never see.

10

You can ask the universe for all the signs you want, but ultimately, we see what we want to see when we're ready to see it

11

Only two seasons in California: Summer and NOT Summer.

12

The world is one big lie.

There's nothing super in this supermarket.

42

MY BRAIN: EAT,

ME: OK, WHAT SHOULD WE MAKE?

MY BRAIN: NO MAKE ! ! ! ONLY EAT,

9

Maybe if I write it
down I can let it
go. No. I'll just find
a million ways to
write it down.

31

I'M STILL BEAUTIFUL YOU KNOW....

YOU JUST HAVE TO READ BETWEEN THE LINES !

15

my naps are getting longer

9

Cuddling in bed and falling asleep...

12

If you find yourself, how will you know it's you?

61

CAN
WE
PLEASE
LAST
FOREVER?

22

It's terrifying how you can be everything to somebody, and nothing all at once.

7

I ate too much, again.

21

TAKE ME BACK TO WHEN
I FELT EVERYTHING

1

I really do miss what we almost had.

3

i want you
i want this
i want us
forever.

2

Her
eyes
told
me
everything

8

better
to loose
a lover
than
to love
a loser

173

Don't play dumb with me. That's a game you can't win.

11

In five
words,
you can.

29

His nipples were hard as...

11

The tone of your voice leads me to believe that you think of a 'three-way' as something really bad...

6

More guns won't stop killing.

12

Owls
don't
try...

-they fly!

13

It started with a kiss...

14

Who needs six words anyway?

17

Your mind
will give up
before your
body does.

31

If I text you and you don't text back I'm just going to assume that you got so excited that you fainted.

22

why
don't
we fly
away

35

"Yes,
I still miss you."

15

I SAID THE WRONG WORD'S....

BUT I PRONOUNCED THEM CORRECTLY.

15

I WISH EVERYONE WOULD JUST TELL EACH OTHER
"IT'S OKAY,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING EITHER."

10

KEEP
CALM

I PRACTICED THIS ON A DOLL ONCE!

14

Remember when people kept diaries and got mad when people read them? Now people do the same thing on social media and get mad when people don't read them. It's a 180 world to me.

8

Every time I meet someone for the first time after they introduce themselves I like to answer with "I know" and walk away nonchalant

6

You can always tell so much from the first kiss, especially when they say things like "Please stop" or "Who the f**k are you?"

10

I keep a gun in my house just so if anyone breaks in they can find it and easily kill me

5

By the way, I forgive you.

26

You can't even imagine the effort it takes for me to pretend I don't care.

18

The school shooter today didn't act alone.

He was assisted by the President, 52 Senators, and the NRA.

11

don't break my heart.

you live there.

39

Ooh yeah baby, ignore me harder. Ooh yeah right there, don't text back.

110

Masturbation doesn't break your heart.

15

Take my hand.
Take my whole life too.

16

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