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Posts Liked by Alvin4ik

Oh what a pretty belly! That's a he or a she?

That's a it: the fat

12

it makes me so sad to speak of a person in past tense instead of present tense

RIP JLB

28

some people are so utterly perfect
I can't even breathe

21

Past friendships haunt my phones contact list like ghosts. The names & numbers like epitaphs on gravestones.

132

Missing someone is just your hearts way of telling you, you're a pussy.

10

The only thing geography has taught me is that Long Island has the best iced tea.

22

Once you've read the dictionary, every other book you read is a remix.

24

sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show and the blood of your enemies

63

Sometimes
I get so excited about going to work that I go to a bar instead.

30

Fact:
in the future I'll tell my grandsons that I'm older than the internet, and blow their mind forever

28

Dominate and destroy
in Monopoly.

17

Food trucks at my funeral

12

The world is losing its geniuses. Aristole died, Newton passed away, Einstein died...and I'm not feeling well today.

18

Language is a social art

20

do twins ever realise one of them was unplanned?

36

my heart says: summer

my body says: no

60

My Sister was a wonderful person,
who could make a friend where ever she went.

1959 - 2015

59

black is colourful enough.

74

my heart says: summer

my body says: no

203

ein leben ohne kuchen ist möglich aber sinnlos.

49

I'm off, I'm gone.

for now.

13

I've been
hanging out
in this little
box for one
whole year.

30

Life would be easier if the hairstyle, which we wake up in the morning, were fashionable

34

You can be the boss just dont boss me around

6

Yelling at people is highly effective if you want to get things done. Ask any baby.

6

be nice to the nerds,
they will be your boss one day.

6

i heard you're a player.
nice to meet you, i'm the coach.

6

Boss?

Hugo?

1

Of course size matters.....

Nobody wants a small cup of coffee.

218

du kannst dich jetzt mit der titanic streiten, wer von euch tiefer gesunken ist.

28

My fridge is a cemetery for vegetables.

48

there is a seed
of hope, planted
in a field of despair.
maybe one day it
will grow and thrive.
and catch fire
called love.

21

it only takes
one look or one sentence to get
the job done.

10

i almost had
that last slice
of pizza.

10

The new
normal
is born from
those that
were inspired
to go beyond
the optional

115

Before your first coffee, in the morning, are you in a good mood?

[ ] yes
[ ] sometimes
[x] shut the fuck up!

28

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...

278

People say that
things happen for a reason, but some things shouldn't happen at all •

22

C'EST
LA
FUCKING
VIE

231

I'd like to be sleeping beauty

but without the prince,
I just want to sleep.

25

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art...
It has no survival value -

rather it is one of those things that give value to survival

24

i'm not saying i hate you but i would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

21

I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH CAFFEINE

I HAVE A PROBLEM WITHOUT CAFFEINE

24

The earth isn't dying, it's being killed and those who are killing it, have names and adresses

41

I'm pillowing around. That means: lying aroung, looking comfortable with a cosy smile on the face

4

Don't lose yourself trying to please everybody, because those who love you, love you for what you really are and those who don't love you, will never love you more than that

27

Four major versions in 25 years, who does Linus think he is? He's drunk with power!

7

some people are supposed to be the sunshine but end up being the flames of hell

24

If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it, then how bad of a decision can it really be.

6

perhaps I ache for freedom
for the blue that's in my eye,
was given as a present from the fabric of the sky,
and when I'm gazing skywards
it's no wonder that I yearn,
when part of what I'm made of
always wishes to return.

13

acting like you are soooo busy texting so that people won't talk to you

31

How to earn money using facebook:

1.) login to your account
2.) click "settings"
3.) click "security"
4.) click "deactivate my
account"
5.) get a job

17

I wish
I would've met you earlier

20

There's a line between outspoken and just plain mean.

It's not my fault that I don't know where the line is, though.

18

first law of newton:

a body at rest wants to stay at rest, so let me sleep instead of forcing me to go to school

27

I really fucked up my life.

Where can I register for a new account?

41

It's not flattering to be wanted by someone who wants everbody.

13

Smoking pot may be illegal,
but then again,
so is the music on your iPod.

16

what's the point of cute boys if I can't have one?

26

i like you enough
to stay away
from you.
but not really.

4

we're just friends.

16

I looked at historical events taking place on my birthday and I'm not on it?
I think there must be some mistake?

38

I have an irrational fear of speedbumps but, I'm slowly getting over it.

32

Headin' east to show them Asians my Sauerkraut

26

It's only when you
paint your nails
that you realise you
need someone to
feed you crisps
and scratch you.

20

I want everything to change immediately, but I have to just keep walking because the change is in each step.

18

Gestern ist Geschichte.
Das Morgen ein Mysterium.
Das Heute ist ein Geschenk.
Darum heißt es auch: Präsent.

6

If you tell a joke and nobody laughs it means two things: either the joke is silly or you don't know how to tell it

10

My psychiatrist says I suffer from paranoia. Another one who's plotting against me!

27

you've become so damaged that when someone tries to give you what you deserve, you have no fucking idea how to respond.

42

When I was a child I was afraid of dark
Today, when I get the electricity bill, I feel a phobia of light

16

I didn't say you're stupid,
I just said your brain must be syndicated

12

War does not determine who is right...

...only who is left.

18

Not everyone you lose is a loss.

Unless it's me, then you fucked up.

23

your age is the number of times you went around the sun...

232

We all fear that one day our inner selves will be revealed, and that the outer world will see the true us and ridicule it over and over and over again until we don't remember who we really were...

Also clowns, everyone hates clowns.

22

Could you keep it down? I'm trying to drink.

21

Mephobia...

Fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can't handle it and everybody dies.

46

When I was a child the dentist scared me
Today I am really afraid of his bills

11

I wake to sleep,
and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.

12

Hearts are wild creatures

that's why our ribs are cages

6

i don't have a attitude problem, you have a problem with my attitude...

that's your problem, not mine.

7

meine tochter hat gefragt, was steuern sind. da habe ich
47,5% von ihrem apfel abgebissen. jetzt weint sie. ich glaube, sie hat es verstanden.

.:.

7

ich hab beschlossen die weltherrschaft nicht an mich zu reissen.
was soll ich auch mit diesem riesigen müllhaufen voller idioten.

23

It's amazing how easily we throw around the word "hate," even for those we only dislike, mildly. Yet, it's so difficult to say the word, "love." Even if it's so strong you can't think.

40

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