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Posts Liked by alicibisi

summer-night-cocktail-chillin'-outside-
time

21

Das Leben ist zum lachen da, drum nehm ich Psychopharmaka.

2

Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.

49

twinkle twinkle little whore, close your legs, they're not a door

146

Life is tough, get a helmet.

17

go directly to hell.

do not pass GO.
do not collect $200.

280

Tequila + me = lucky you!

276

LET'S DO SOME "WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS" THINGS.

494

Here's a tissue, you have a little bullshit on your lip.

445

Ironically, the fight between the mind and the heart always ends up hurting the liver.

417

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

734

I am one Candy Crush invite away from murdering someone.

386

A lot of people cry when they cut onions, the trick is not to form an emotional bond.

396

that awkward moment when I'm drunk
and you're still ugly

478

I like to be alone.
But I would rather be alone with you.

523

The trouble with jogging is, by the time you realize you're not fit for it, it's too far to walk back •

409

Anybody have any plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?

320

I wish I had boobs so people would stop making eye contact with me.

458

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