Seinfeld2000's Posts

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whats the deal

with life

Why is it meaningless

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whats the deal

with life

Why is it meaningless

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in these unprecendented times its important to remember: seinfeld

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instead of trying to " home school" your children
simply show them seinfeld

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KRAM: ur a simp

GERG: no, no.. no im not a simp

JERY: u told her to spit down your throat! where i come from, thats simping

GERG: i may be many things but a simp isnt 1 of them

ELANE: U SIMPED

GERG: OK so maybe i simped! is that so wrong?? why cant i simp every now and then

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KRAM (on zoom): do you see jery?? its a PLANDEMIC

JERY: uh huh

KRAM: BIG PHARMA is pulling the wool over our eyes!!

JERY: says who

KRAM (eating beach sand): my friend Bob sacamano posted it on facebook

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seinfeld is an esential service

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I just miss life before this incredibly profound tragedy

-me talking about seinfeld ending in 1998

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oh im sory libs are my twetes too TRIGERING for u?

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jery experience nonstop low level anxiety attack

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A lot of talk about reopening America but not enough talk abt reopening seinfeld

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quarantne has given me a lot of time to realy focus on what seinfeld would be like if its still on tv today

my conclusion?

Jery get ipad

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gerge dating ok boomer girl

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tomorow is march 32

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elane stop having sex with dr fauci until he create vaccine

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Hello, I wrote a Seinfeld coronavirus script:

jary get ipad

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rt if seinfeld is the only thing keeping u sane

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seinfeld is real

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if seinfeld was today it would simply be a tiktok

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At least these guys dress better than I do!

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Roses are red

violets are blue

the jerk store called

Theyre running out of you

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stick to seinfeld you piece of shit

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PARASITE is a story abt what happens in a society where seinfeld is not on tv

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wheres the seinfeld museum

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If you had one shot to put seinfeld back on tv would u capture it

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i'm out of the contest

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if the nfl had any sense they would have gotten jery seinfeld for the super bowl half time show

imagen milions of ppl losing their minds the second jery opens his flawless set with "whats the deal with football, its not a foot and its not a ball"

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seinfeld > super bowl

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what if curb was today

Larry break selfie stick

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rt if u have seen seinfeld

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i first saw seinfeld on

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MIKE D: Mike d

AD ROCK: ad rock

MCA: and im MC-

ALL 3: A

MIKE D: what if seinfeld on tv to-

ALL 3: DAY

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source: in a private meeting bernie told Elizabeth waren that “seinfeld would never be back on tv with new epsodes like one where gerge create dating app for academy award winning actreses who want to connect with short stocky bald men with glasses for example”

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kram find wax figures of prirnce harry and princess megan markel in garbage

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im so sick of rickey gervis and his ofensive shock comedy at the award's

Next year i want to see jery seinfeld at the podium saying "whats the deal with sandpaper its not sand and its not paper"

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this is now the TWELFTH YEAR that bee movie got shut out of the golden globes rt if you are SICK of this shit

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"jery get ipad lol"
- me tweting to nobody (wifi deactivated globaly weeks ago) on cracked iphone looted from vacant apple store as deafening air raid siren blares

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what if 2019 still on tv?

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10 years ago i was imagening what seinfeld would be like today

today , i am doing the same, but i have alienated my friends and family and am a decade closer to death

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seinfeld just hit different

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The bee movie is a christmas movie

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the seinfeld theme is a christmas song

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what if HAMILTON was about a man whose wife want's him to dump his old shoes

HAMILTON: i am not throwing away my CROCS

The only reason this twete didnt perform so well is becase i tweted it at 4:17am est

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stay out of politic's and stick to seinfeld meme u son of a bitch

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your annoying fiance can have a little toxic envelope glue , as a treat

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Twas the night before festivus, when all through Franks house

Not a Costanza was yelling,not even his spouse

The pole was set up by the chimney with care

In hopes that the grievances soon would be aired

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guys the president doesnt imediately get replaced! smh thats not how impeachment works

Next he has to sit before the senate and answer the question "which show is better seinfeld or F·R·I·E·N·D·S" and if he answers wrong they throw him off the hoover dam i dont make the rules

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lol all u want but this epsode ends with gruesome double homicide

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Trump should simply be impeached for not puting seinfeld back on the tv

waste of a presidency

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pete butegeg has F•R•I•E•N•D•S energy

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Seinfeld Platinum

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JERY: so you come down stairs.. and theres just a peloton in the living room

ELANE: a peloton!

JERY: so what are u gona do

gerge enter jery apartment ,his hands covered in fresh blood, a look of satisfaction in his cold eyes

GERGE: it is done

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are u in the right head space for my twetes about what seinfeld would be like today

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had to have high high hopes for a livin

what if seinfeld was still on television

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should i delete this twete

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Whole episode the gang is trying to get back to jery apartment before the purge starts

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it aint a lie if you believe you aint bluffin

i dress like my pants been in a calzone oven

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rise and seinnn

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taken with Gerge’s stolen ipad

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Jesse pinkmen get iphone 11 pro

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what if cardi b was an aerobic's instructor

cardio b

Oh im sory did i sign an oath that every twete would be a slam dunk or even seinfeld related?

no

grow up

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seinday service

every sunday morning we all gather and watch seinfeld together on a big screen

whos down

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jery get ipad?

in this economy?

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just finding out abt iraq

whoa
are there other countrys

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JERY: you blew the whistle ?

GERGE: like a traffic cop during rush hour

KRAM: so youre a whistleblower

GERG: ya.. (proud smirk) i guess i am

JERY: i never saw u as a whistleblower

ELANE: ya usualy you just blow

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6ix9ine reveal kram is member of van buren boys

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ya sex is cool but did u ever see seinfeld S07E06 “the soup nazi”

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goddam i love seinfeld

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SEINFELD AND CHILL

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Stop criticzing NBC sitcoms !

seinfeld REINVENTED THE FORMAT

The office is a TIMELESS CLASSIC

frasier ELEVATED THE MEDIUM

The fresh prince MADE WILL SMITH A HOUSE HOLD NAME

mad about you UM

F·R·I·E·N·D·S

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Cultural Impact

¦
¦
¦
¦
¦ _
seinfeld S05E14 F·R·I·E·N·D·S
"The marine
biologist"

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JERY: where am i gona get a new samsung galaxy note at 3am

COSMO BIDEN: ill just call my friend Corn Pop he can hook u up

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Joe biden BERST on to seinfeld stage

studio audieance wildly applause, standing ovation

JERY: this was not planned

JOE: WHERE AM I

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JERY (in bed irl): whats the DEAL with sex

JERYS WIFE: again if you want to do it you dont have to always initiate this way you can just kiss me-

JERY: i mean am i IN or am i OUT

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KRAM: see, yangs gonna give every american a thousand dollars jery

JERY: but hows he gona pay for it?

KRAM (opening jery fridge and taking out snapple): the same way i pay for stuff

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ELANE: do you have any juuls, i know theyre off the market but

VAPE GUY: Actualy we have a case left

ELANE: A case! A case of juuls? how many come in a case

VAPE GUY: 60

ELANE: 60?! Ill take 3

VAPE GUY: 3

ELANE: u know what just give me the whole case and Ill be on my way

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these pretzels —and i cant stress this enough — are making me thirsty

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Jery get iphone 11 pro max

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JERY: hows it going with madison

GERG: theres something about her..

JERY: uh huh

GERG: she never goes anywhere without her hydro flask and scrunchie ,she wears a long t shirt and shes always saying sksksksk

JERY: ill tell u what uve got on your hands- youre dating a VSCO girl

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gerge finally just kill jery

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my first word was seinfeld

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Not the recording I created for that opening.. But I LIKE it!

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S31E01 "The Straight Pride Parade"

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u ever watch seinfeld while high

the corect answer is 'no'

your pristine viewing experience of seinfeld should not be corupted by the shrub of satan

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retwete if u hated F·R·I·E·N·D·S before hating F·R·I·E·N·D·S was cool

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2007

tension in the board room

jery seinfeld enters

DREAMWORKS CEO: jery im not gona beat around the bush here , we cut the scene where the bee fucks the woman

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i just want to feel like i did when seinfeld still on tv

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I dont know who needs to hear this but:

seinfeld

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(gunther there for millions of atroticies comitted during WW2)

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KRAM: jery do you have company?

JERY: no .. why

KRAM: Im gona need to sleep on your couch tonight

JERY: whats wrong with your place

KRAM: its occupado. something came up

JERY: "occupado"? by who

KRAM: 30 to 50 feral hogs

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They can put a man on the moon but they cant put seinfeld back on tv

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I Dont know who needs to see this but if seinfeld still on tv, jery get ipad

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scarlet johanson just got cast as jery seinfeld in the seinfeld reboot

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Hot girl summer of goerge

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bagel boss guy has costanza energy

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a streaming service thats only seinfeld

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the TV show F·R·I·E·N·D·S

you hate to see it

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The movie Yesterday but its about the world forgeting the TV show F·R·I·E·N·D·S except for me and i keep that shit to myself

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JERY: ur SELLING your bath water?

ELAN: im a gamer jery. my folowers will buy anything

JERY: Ppl are actualy buying your disgusting bath water?

ELAN: its selling like hot cakes

JERY: whos buying?

ELAN: idk its anonymous

camra zoom in on gerg

his eyes shifting left to rite

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jery get notepad

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some personal news: i love seinfeld

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Tell me something girl

what if seinfeld in the modern world?

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[Jery and gerge sitting on jerys couch reading from note pads]

GERGE: so i say, WAKE ME UP

JERY: Wake me up inside?

GERGE: I CANT WAKE UP

JERY: Wake me up.. inside

GERG: SAVE ME

JERY: Call my name and save me from the dark.. you know what i think we might have something

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The greatest trick bob sacamano ever pulled was convincing the world he didnt exist

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2021 will you think abt me
What if seinfeld was still on TV

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trump trying 2 get border wall = gerge negotiating with nbc

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for the 11th year in a row bee movie has been nominated for zero academy awards

What is it going to take for the academy to honor this film

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whats the deal with football, the balls oval it should be called ovalball

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quoth the raven , " THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY"

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The government has now been shut down longer than seinfeld was on tv

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I hurt myself today

to see if i still feel

if seinfeld still on now:

"hey Siri , whats the deal"

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megyn kely BERST in to fox news HQ in full blackface

"IM BACK BABY!!!!!!"

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i threw out every thing that doesnt spark joy and now the only thing left in my apartment is a seinfeld dvd box set

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what if seinfeld still on tv in 2019

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i personaly think its cool that trump is shuting down the government until we get new epsodes of seinfeld on tv

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Imma just say .. Jerry Seinfeld is a real one. A legend

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For the price of the wall nbc could renew seinfeld for 147 more seasons

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staring a gofundme to build a wall around the cast of F·R·I·E·N·D·S

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what if seinfeld today?

whole epsode is just costanza you tube flossing dance tutorial

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the world should have ended before seinfeld did

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JERY: i realy cant stay

BANIA: jery its GOLD outside

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Want to feel old?
no? ok thats fair

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I dont want a lot for christmas

there is just one thing i need

I dont care about the presents

Just new seinfeld on tv

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rt if jery seinfeld should host oscars

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honestly im gona win $1 milion dolar BABY!!!!!!

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Ladies, if he

- never responds to your text
- should never have existed
- is beloved by idiots
- Lisa kudrow is in it

Hes not your man. Its the tv show F·R·I·E·N·D·S

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OPENING MONOLOG: whats the deal with Youtube.. a whole tube, just for you?

[Int jery apartment]

kram BERST in to jery apartment

KRAN: Jery i borrowed your youtube. btw ur out of butter

JERY: u borrowed my youtube?

krame TOSS fleshlight to jery

look not every twete slam dunk

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brb heading to a secluded island known for its violent people with a backpack full of seinfeld dvds

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I am thankful for julia louis dreyfus

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im thankful for seinfeld

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The silence from alexandria orcasio cortez, a suposed new yorker, regarding her position on what seinfeld would be like today , has been deafening

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JERY: how was your date with beto

ELANE: he did .. the move

JERY: Wait what what move

ELANE: he made my calves cramp

JERY: The calf cramp! Thats MY move!!

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${\__/} ( • . •) i have taken barry b benson / > hostage. {\__/} (• . • ) if hollywood does not green < \ light the Beequel in 24 hours, i will kill him$

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Remember this isnt just an election

its a referendum on whether seinfeld should still be on tv

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the GOP is the party of F·R·I·E·N·D·S

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heres a scary story

seinfeld still not on tv

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scary story to give you chill's tonite

Jery seinfeld died in 1998 the same year that seinfeld ended

the man you see driving around in clasic cars with notable comedians such as Cris Rock is a ghost

Check the rear view mirrors there is no reflection

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JERY: you SPILLED THE TEA?

GERG: like a drunk barista

JERY: .. and?

GERGE: she said “this aint it chief”

JERY: what does that mean

GERGE: i dont know

just to clarify my twetes imagen what if seinfeld in 2018 today

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I love to watch seinfeld

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this baseball game has now been on tv longer than seinfeld

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JERY: so,how was your date with Justin bieber

ELAN: it was ok, we went to that new mexican spot but get this, he eats his buritos HORIZONTALLY

GERG: what like corn on the cob?

ELAN: YES exactly

JERY: do they not have buritos in canada

ELAN: No i googled it, canada has burito

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keep seinfeld out of politics you son of a bitch

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damn this blew up

guess this the part where i plug something

well while youre here, follow me

not on social media

follow me, my wisdom & my teachings, in real life just as Jesus disciples folowed him and He led them unto the pure, merciful milk of the one true Christ our Lord

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JERY: you slid into her DMs??

KRAM: slid RIGHT in

GERG: i never slide. not a slider

KRAM: oh you gotta slide. Thats the whole point of the DMs!

JERY: how about you, you ever slide into the DMs?

ELANE: depends on the D

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Folks are STILL having fun with my #Seinfeld Theme! Love this Video SOOOOO much!

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JERY: you dont even know what QAnon is

KRAME: ya but they do, and theyre the ones investigating

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what if alex jones still on tv?

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Vampire Weekend’s bassist just dropped the “Seinfeld” theme during a solo. Good

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WHats the deal with amazon prime "prime"? more like "amazon crime" bc everything on the site is a STEAL!

J??? ????s ? ?????? ?? s??? ?? ??? ??? ??? ???????? ?? ?x?????? ??? ?? ??????s ?????????? ???? ???? ????? ????s?? ????? ????

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??|
??| psst! hey kid
??|
??|
??|
??|
??|
??|
??|
??|
??| _
??| •.•) seinfeld is the pinacle of
??|?? postmodernist art and
??| nothing our culture
??| produces will top it ever
??| so dont try

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honestly?
FUCK ALF

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Heres a thought: seinfeld but today

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JERY: whats the deal with Elon musk? "Musk?" really? is this an evil genius or a pungent aroma extracted from a gland of the male musk deer

cut to season finale year 2029

Jery and his friends are in elons maximum security moon prison geting burned with flame throwers

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A fun way to imagen seinfeld today is to watch an epsode with your eyes close and envisualize every character is holding iphone x

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seinfeld is my religion

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what if seinfeld today

Gerge twete "its not a lie if u believe it"

99K RT 207K

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he reply to his own twete "since yall are here follow me on insta"

honestly? boom he get 6 more instagram folowers

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krame eat a grape

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If I had to choose my fave tv show

honestly? im gona have to go with seinfeld

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$|???????????| THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY |___________| (\__/) || (•?•) || / ?$

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I love seinfeld

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WHat if seinfeld still on tv

jery get ipad

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i miss bary obame

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i only love my bed and my seinfeld im sorry

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Bhoomi_Dekate likes this

NAVY SEAL: this was an extremely dificult mission and we are so glad that-

Elon musk BERST in to press conference

ELON: i GOT it, WATERPROOF TELEPORTATION DRONES my team can have a prototype in 72 earth days

NAVY SEAL: the boys havebeen rescued

ELON: ANOTHER POINT FOR ELON!!!

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JERY: THIS is a 1959 cadilac cyclone - its one of a kind, its impractical, its whimsical, its WEIRD, making it the perfect car to pick up my guest, the absurd and briliant Eric andre.. eric whats that smell

eric did u take a shit in the car

ERIC ANDRE: ya

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JERY: whats the deal with MySpace. myspace, realy? A whole space, just for me? I got news for you i already have one of those- its called an APARTMENT

camra zoom out

jery is saying this loudly during the quiet part of a movie

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???????
?? ????
??|/??

what if seinfeld
still on tv?

??/|??
?????
???? ? ?

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O say can you see

by the dawns early light

What so stoked we would be

if seinfeld came back tonight

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what if the alphabet was modarn

ABCDEFG
HIJK
LMFAO

?
?
?
?i have a mental disease

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it will be cool if some one threw a bee themed party in the year 2107. the 100 year aniversary of the bee movie
Everyone dress in yellow and black stripe
I will be dead then ,but enjoy

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insted of mission imposible

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what if seinfeld today?

Kram spend summer at Tom cruise cottage

KRAM: lets go to the lake, i wana catch some TROUT

TOM: sory theres no fish up there

KRAM: so what youre sayin is... FISHIN IMPOSSIBLE

look,some times my twetes are more about the journey than the destinatien

twitter.com

#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

check out seinfeld if u havent already

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

This friday nite why not treat your self to an epsode of seinfeld

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

i made an AI watch thousands of hours of seinfeld but it couldnt create a script because it was LOLing to hard

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

What if seinfeld was today

jery new milenial GF thinks everything is "cringe"

She see beautiful sunset

GF: Omg its cringe

she eat a french fry

GF: cringe

she see dead body

GF: omg so cringe

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Seinfeld is now called Seinfelb

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

GERGE: an all female "Oceans" movie? Way to ruin my childhood BABY!!!!!!

JERY: Childhood? u were in your late 40s when those movies came out

GERG: GERGE IS GETTIN EARLY ONSET DEMENTIA

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Its okay to be white
Its okay to be black
Its okay to be asian
Its okay to be hispanic
Its okay to be female
Its okay to be male
Its okay to be gay
Its okay to be straight
Its okay to be YOU

But its NEVER okay to watch F·R·I·E·N·D·S

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

ABC should reboot roseane

but change the title to Seinfeld

and set it in an apartment in new york

And instead of roseane main character should be jery seinfeld

and instead of the family it should be elane,kram and gerge

and instead of ABC it should be on NBC WITH NEW EPSODES

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

NBC where is my apology for canceling seinfeld!

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

i cant believe roseanne and drake got canceled on the same day

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

what if roseanne still on tv

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

lebron james is the seinfeld of basketball

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

someone should reply "not that theres anything wrong with that" or reply with that gif lol

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

jery update his privacy policy

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

by age 35 you should be dead

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

what if gerge appear in MARVEL movie but they CGI him to miniature size for role

he take date to see it not doesnt realize he is tiny until he appear on screen

DATE: im sorry.. [gigling] im really sorry

GERGE: SHRINKAGE!!! I WAS IN THE "DEADPOOL" !!!!

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

MELANIA: u dont know my name, do you

TRUMP: of course i do... Mulva?

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

KnightofSIAL likes this

my favorite tv show? it is seinfeld

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

what if Bill & Ted today

Bill & TED Talk

look i dont know where u got the idea that every twete was gona be a slam dunk

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Dont talk to me Until ive had my seinfeld

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

guys u have $5 to build the perfect girl

$300 - cute
$200 - sexy
$400 - kind hearted
$1 - has never seen bee movie
$4 - bee movie currently on sale for four dollar in best buy discount dvd bin
$500 - smart

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

hm,i wonder what seinfeld would be like today

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

jery new gf has no soul

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

FBI BERST in to michael cohen apartment

TRUMP: TIPPY TOE! TIPPY TOE!!!!

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Fraseir get ipad

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

what if easter on april fools

JESUS: i have risen from the dead

CHRISTIANS: Christ has risen hallelu-

GOD (Comunity star Gillian Jacobs in a toga): jk april fools u guys this has been an elaborate stunt sponsored by Diet Coke™ hehe christianity is a lie life has no meaning

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

wow ABC just rebooted Alf but now Alf is the head of the KKK

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

what if seinfeld was freaky friday

Kram wake up in chris browns body

imediately start screaming n word

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

what if frasier in 2018

"hey equal person , i hear the trap beats are calling kale salads and free range farm to table scrambled egg whites"

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

i know i twete a lot about seinfeld but lets mix it up a litle

what if FRASIER still on tv

fraseir host podcast

FRASIER: im listening

camra zoom out

honestly hes not listening at all hes scrolling thru the instagram explore page lmao pls RT im a bit low on dopamine

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

We need a disney princess who eats her snickers with a fork and knife

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Bee Movie > WALL-E

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

honestly?

i simply just lost so many folower over this twete

Look if u cant handle me at my "timeline clogging rehash of the concept of my seinfeld parody twiter acount" then u dont deserve me at my "putting the curb your enthusiasm music over recently shamed public figures"

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

legaly changing my name to seinfeld

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

less guns
more seinfeld

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

imagen Seinfeld was HQ

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

American Sein Story: The Assasination Of Susan Ross

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

JERY: how was your date with ed sheeran?

ELANE: he took me to the all you can eat and told me to "fill up my bag"

JERY: with chinese?

ELAN: Ya. And then the next morning he goes, "my bedsheets smell like you"

JERY: ok..

ELANE: dont you get it? its because of the valet BO

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

JERY: she PROTECTED HER INSTAGRAM? Why?

GERGE: i think she could sense i was "losing the contest" to her vacation pix. women can tell these things JERY

JERY: Then just follow her

GERG: i cant! i dont want to suffer the indignity of sending a follow request

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

RT if ur longest and most rewarding relationship has been with seinfeld

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

James corden is a mass social experiment created by the government to see how much suffering americans can tolerate

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Fionacatherine likes this

YOU DON’T GET ANY SOUP haha get it like the sho

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

"how u living biggie smals"

in mansions and benzes

seinfeld is a million times better than friends is

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

"girl you must be airplane peanuts because i want to know what the deal is with u" #seinfeldpickuplines

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

I like my women like i like my seinfeld

still on tv with new epsodes every week

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

I want to aplaud pizza hut for no longer selling assault rifles

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Its unpatriotic to not like seinfeld

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

What if THE WALKING DEAD still on tv

it is? still ? what

why

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

gerge pretend to be in Sea Org to impress elizabeth moss

theyre walking on the beach when sudenly UFO crash land in water

xenu emerge from craft

"IS ANYONE HERE A MARINE SCIENTOLOGIST"

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

what if seinfeld was modarn

gerge take rideshare with air conditioning turned up to maximum

GF see him naked rite after

GERG: SHRINKAGE!!! I WAS IN THE UBER POOL!!!!!

a new study has revealed that not every twete can be a slam dunk

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

if the cast of seinfeld was armed seinfeld would still be on tv

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

there is no god above seinfeld

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

seinfeld is the pinacle of human acheivement

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

gerge smoke juul

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Roses are red

the best movie is Bee

Imagen if seinfeld was still on TV?

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Elane dating the door opening robot

ELANE: i am DONE with humans

JERY: but hes not real

ELANE: at least hes a gentleman

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

i need to see at least one shot of Georg w iPad or else i am boycotting

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

JERY: whats the deal with Ice dancing , whats next, ICE FUCKING?

why jery chose to tell the dirtiest joke of his career at a childrens birthday party is anyones guess

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

GERGE: well! i FINALY did it

JERY: did what?

GERGE: i broke up with Kim Jong Uns sister

Hwasong-12/KN17 intermediate-range balistic missile BERST into jerys apartment

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

je suis seinfeld

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES

THIS IS MY LAST RESORT

SUFFOCATION

NO BREATHING

WHAT IF I COULD WATCH NEW SEINFELD THIS EVENING

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

i want a seinfeld parade

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

BANYA: trump is the best president jery, the BEST

JERY: why

BANYA: hes making america great again!

JERY: how

BANYA: Hes bringing jobs back, for one

JERY: what jobs

BANYA: COAL, jery, COAL

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

What if Groundhog Day today?

instead of old alarm clock wake bill murray up every morning to I Got U Babe (not modarn)

HomePod wake Bill murray up every morning to Gucci Gang (almost too modarn?)

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

when does the new seinfeld come on tonite

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

yo do this on a t shirt

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

to the 4 ppl who just unfolowed me over this twete

look
not every twete is gona make Buzzfeeds "27 Grammy Twetes That Will Have You Saying OMG This Just Gave Me Life And It Is Also Goals AF Sponsored By Neutrogena"

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

cut to james corden backstage eating the puppies

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

you know what , fuck it. lets just put everything back on tv except seinfeld

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Elane not sure which migos shes dating

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Murphy brown get ipad

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

If This gets 50K retwetes i will personally put seinfeld back on tv

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

*at police station*

KRAM: i just saw an orc cop! an orc cop!

GERG: Kram what the hell are you talking about

KRAM: Im talking about the orc cop! I went into the wrong room and there he was

GERGE: an Orc cop?

KRAM: Orc cop. Half orc, half cop!

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Hey, Bania here. I would love to eat at Wendy’s but I had the hot dog earlier!

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Bania wants Wendy's because Mendy's won't tweet him back

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

airing of grievance: seinfeld still is not on tv today

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

What if The Simpsons was modarn

The Samsungs

look i dont remember promising u every twete was gona be a slam dunk

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

S29E14 The Bitcoin

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

JERY: how was ur date

ELANE: he took it out

JERY: he whaaat?

ELANE: ya.

Matt Damon BERST in to jery apartment

MATT DAMON: you know theres planty of guys who didnt take it out why arent u talking about them btw check out my new movie Sack Lunch

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

watching seinfeld is a form of self care

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

what if internet still exist

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

GERGE (on his deathbed): im glad i spent so much time mindlessly scroling thru strangers photos on the instagram explore page BABY!!!!

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

elane dating keaton

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

JERY: how did your date go with the guy from the movie theater

ELANE: oh, robert? it was ..alright

JERY: Whats the problem

ELANE: Hes a CAT PERSON, jery

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Jery dating youtuber

JERY: theres just one problem she keep asking me to like and subscribe

GERGE: dont wory i have already killed her and dumped her corpse in a pond

JERY: WHAT!!!

then ,jery eyes shift left and right then he whisper "tippy toe" which is code for "thank u"

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

yeah sex is cool but have u ever thought abt what seinfeld would be like today

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

what if Matt lauer still on nbc "today"

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Seinfeld is my drug

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

all female seinfeld reboot

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Your Postmate, Kramer, is arriving soon.

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

But Mr Kassem, 43, is no ordinary Nazi. his true passion is soup - soup so hearty and delicious that it almost justifies his hatred of all non white races

-New york times

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

TIME magazine just call me they said "hey u are PROBABLY the best seinfeld theme twiter account" i said "probably"?? hard pass fuck you WHY DIDNT MY DAD LOVE ME GROWING UP theres a hole in my heart that can never be filled

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Hey there delilah

what if seinfeld still on tv?

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

rt if u would be thankful to never see james cordens face again for the rest of ur life

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

JERY: whats the deeeal with net neutrality? why does the net, need to be neutral

ELANE: ur porn is about to be way slower

JERY: what there is nothing funny about this

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

if u are asked to say grace tomorow, do your self a favor and jazz it up with a seinfeld reference

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

can you elaborate

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

JERY: Maybe u can just go back

MUGABE: go back?

JERY: ya, pretend like it never hapened

MUGABE: You mean just walk into parlament on monday morning like i never got overthrown?

JARY: sure. youre an emotional person

MUGABE: Just..go back

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

ELANE: some LUNATIC threw a cofee machine out the window, almost hit me in the head!

KRAM: that was me, see i wont let them silence Hanity, jery

JERY: that was MYYY keurig!

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

what if seA ??nfeld still on tv?

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

It Should be ilegal for seinfeld to not be on tv

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Jery dating taylor swift

TAYLOR: i SEE how this is gon go

JERY: ... u know ur not black

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

in west philadelphia born and raised

i wish seinfeld still was on the tv today

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

My twetes envisien a world where seinfeld still on tv

nothing more, nothing less

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

thank u twiter for allowing me 2 extend my account name to its proper full length

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

ME: I LOVE SEINFELD

camra zoom out

im at a job interview ,these are literaly the first words that have come out of my mouth and i have screamed them full volume

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

KRAM: i am LOVING this new 280 charactar twiter jery!!

jery look at kram most recent twete

its the n word 40 times

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

why is no one reporting on th fact that wyoming just elected a bee movie dvd/blu ray combo pack as its next governor

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

gerge send acidental text on purpose

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

seinfeld: ragnarok

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

i touch my self to the bee movie

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

imagen seinfeld in the 1800s

kram BERST into jerys cabin

KRAM: I got a GREAT idea jery

JERY: ya? whats that

KRAM: the n-word

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

What if house of cards still on tv?

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

JERY: hear about kevin spacey

GERG: Not that theres anything wrong w that

JERY: he hit on a 14 yr old

GERG: There something wrong w that!

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

JERY: wow that muellers realy closing in on trump

KRAM: WHAT ABOUT THE URANIUM JERY

JERY:huh

KRAM: DOSSIER

ELAN: ?

KRAM: CROOKED HILARY

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

WHat if Malcolm X was today

iphone X

look i never told u every twete was gona be a slam dunk

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

the jfk files say nothing about what seinfeld would be like today this is bull shit

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

instagram now lets you die alone

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

i got a fever

and the only prescription

is more seinfeld

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

MonoGate and swatchUSA like this

hm i wonder what seinfeld would be like today

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

*smoke's weed once *

"dude what if seinfeld still on tv"

look i dont remember promising u that every twete would be a slam dunk

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

its better to have loved and lost seinfeld then to never have had seinfeld at all

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

seinfeld today:

BANYA: why do they call it squarespace

monitor is rectangle

browser window rectangle

they should call it rectanglespace

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

remember seinfeld?

k
well my twetes simply envisien what the show would be like today

have a great weekend

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

geostorm sounds like a fake movie in seinfeld

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

I dont wanna close my eyes

i dont wana fall asleep

cause i miss seinfeld

and i wish it was still on TV

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

human civilizatiens greatest achievement will be its own extinction

what if seinfeld stll on tv ?

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

"technicaly seinfeld still is on tv"

first of all this is my dads funeral

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

JERY: THis is a 1998 PT cruiser, it is an absolute piece of shit just like my guest today Dane cook

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

seinfeld 4 life

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

gerge give entire yankee orgaanizatien food poisoning off bob sakamano tainted szechuan sauce

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

As a father of twelve girls i wish seinfeld still on tv today

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

TRUMP: ELANE! i need you to do IQ test for me

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

MR LIPMAN: its come to my atention that u sexualy harrased women for decades

HARVEY WEINSTEIN: was that wrong? was i not suposed to do that

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

kram quit social media

KRAM: im OFF THE GRID jery

JERY: honestly i dont think u were ever on the grid to begin with

KRAM: YAHH

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

isis just claimed responsibility for seinfeld no longer being on tv

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

GERGE: THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS BABY!!!!!!!!!

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

cheryl hines just quote tweted me im taking the rest of 2017 off

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

gold, larry, gold

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

RT if ur excited that curb your enthusiasm is back on TV

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

"twiter pls help people are sending us death threats"

TWITER: exciting update alert we are sending knives & ur home adress to your enemies

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

hugh hefner is friends still on tv in hell

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

what if seinfeld on tv in 280 characters

k

jery get iphone X
gerg get iphone 8S
kram get ipad pro
elane get apple watch
frank costanza get samsang galaxy S8
mulva get ipod nano
j petermen get apple TV
jackie chiles get macbook pro
gerge steinbrener join tinder

newman just dies

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

KosmicKarma likes this

gerge see 280 character twete for the first time

"YOU DOUBLE DIPPED THE TWIT"

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

KosmicKarma likes this

what if BALLERS still on tv

whole epsode just dwayne the roc jonson taking a knee

at the end of epsode he simply say "fuck u donald trump"

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

what if curb your enthusiasm still on tv?

larry is seen as hero after a pulled hamstring makes him take a knee on the golf course

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

what if trump president during michael richards laugh factory racist tirade

he imediately invite him to white house as guest of honor

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

be the seinfeld you want to see on tv

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

this is such a rich man bit lol

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

bee movie got robbed

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

what if jery in house of cards

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

i hereby declare september seintember the oficial month of seinfeld

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

this is gona sound a little intense but

the streets will run red with the blood of all those who unfolow me

lol

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

Kram sue starbucks because his pumpkin spice latte too pumpkin

JERY: But latte is SUPPOSED to be pumkpin!

KRAME: Not that pumpkin

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

as long as humans have the capacity to imagen

then seinfeld never stopped being on tv

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

*experimenting with new edgey bad boy image *

"screw seinfeld it not even good"

later im crying in the tub with regret

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

fuck iphone X where is seinfeld season X

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

ted cruz gos on twiter

"im out of the contest"

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

I dont trust nobody and nobody trusts me

imagen seinfeld still was on the TV

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

not gona lie

sometimes i wonder what seinfeld would be like today

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

elane become instagram famous

but her life has no meaning

she feel empty

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

JERY: whats the deal with labor day "labor" realy? am i pregnant

zoom out

doctor hand jery baby

DOCTOR: its a girl

JERY: 2017 is wild

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

#AddYourselfToAFriendsEpisode i dont want to participate in this dumb hashtag i just want FRiends fans to see this twete:

Friends is trash

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

u can stuff your codas in a sack mister

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

SHOWTIME EXECS: david it would be realy great if u could wrap up twin peaks with a satisfying conclusion that–

DAVID LYNCH: IM DAVID LYNCH

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

COOP: i have determined that gerge costanza killed laura palmer

GERGE: IT WAS THE TOXIC GLUE FROM THE ENVELOPES

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

RT if these pretzels are making you thirsty

twitter.com

#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

What if homers son join the alt right

Breitbart Simpson

look is every twete gona be a slam dunk? no

twitter.com

#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

what if seinfeld still on tv?

its none of ur fucking business, thats what

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

RIP princess diana , who died 20 years ago from loling too hard at seinfeld

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

gerge go on ancestry .com
discover hes 1/64th african american

GERGE: im BLACK baby!!!!!!

kram imediately n word-laced tirade

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

elane not sure if shes dating desus or mero

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

taylor swift definitely thinks Friends is better than seinfeld

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

while u dwebes are staring directly into the sun , i'll be staring directly into the sein

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

*seinfeld theme plays softly as my casket is lowered into grave *

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

love dies

seinfeld is forever

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

swatchUSA likes this

"hey man wana hang out"

ME: no way jose im hella busy

cut to me 40 min later

full nude in my apartment watching seinfeld and crying lol

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

SPICER: IM OUT JERY

PRIEBUS: me too

SCARAMUCCI: Im out too

JERY: YOURE OUT? ALREADY? YOU WERE JUST IN

SCARAMUCCI: well im out jery

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dor1316 likes this

Game of throns:

LADY DORIANE: qualthor, hand me the dark sword so i may smite sir gwyndalon

DWARF (naked having sex with CG dragon): nay

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ive had the seinfeld finale paused 2 seconds before the end of the epsode since 1998 so for me seinfeld never ended

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swatchUSA likes this

stick to seinfeld meme's and stay out of politics u fucking son of a bitch

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KRAM: hey jery check this bit im working on- whats the deal with iphone

JERY: ...thats it?

KRAM: ok

that nite kram stab jery 137 times

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by 2036 computers will write authentic new epsodes of seinfeld and render the characters in 100% lifelike cg

i call this the seingularity

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we can put a movie about emojis in theaters nation wide but we cant put seinfeld back on tv

truly these are end times

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i love seinfeld!

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what if Kram was president

Obamacare still law of land

KRAM: BUT HES N WORD

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Comedians In Cars Geting Coffee SMASH into Carpool Karaoke

Jery & Marc Maron survive (1981 Volvo)

RIP James cordan & usher (2017 hyundai)

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KRAM: i dig that john mccain. hes a MAVERICK

JERY: how

KRAM: hes MAVERICK

JERY: yeah but how

KRAM: MAVERICK!

JERY: but

KRAM: MAVERICK

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BABY: i need to go to the bathroom

MOM: is it a number one? or a "Friends"

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me right before murdering a Friends fan:

"so no one told u life was gonna be this short"

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petermen fires elane for not liking DUNKIRK

instead of english patient

see what i do is i update seinfeld for modarn

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what if rockos life was modarn today

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RT if u think about seinfeld during sex

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newman eat okja

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what if game of thrones still on tv?

i dont care nerds

its not seinfeld

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you merely adopted the seinfeld. I was born in it, molded by it

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HEY SNOWFLAKES HERE'S A BREAKING NEWS BULLETIN FOR U....I LOVE SEINFELD!

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? ? ?

i'm sherrif of larry david u better curb ur enthusiasm

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TRUMP: what if seinfeld still on TV

PUTIN: Jery have ipad

TRUMP: yes

PUTIN: and use it to hack your election

TRUMP: what

PUTIN: nothing

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

"mommy i had a nitemare"

"oh sweetie what hapened"

"Friends came back"

"dear god"

*imediately starts packing to move out of cursed home*

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#twitter, #Seinfeld2000

gerge twete dancing hot dog meme

GERGE: I'M "WEIRD TWITER" BABY!!!!!

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What if spiderman was today

Instead of spiderweb ,spider man shoot world wide web

look i know this twete was disapointing but so is life

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hey remember seinfeld?

what if it was back

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