sacha_pants's Posts

Are we not pure? No sir! Panama's moody Noriega brags. It is garbage! Irony dooms a man; a prisoner up to new era.

Call me a prostitute, the way you'd have to pay me to give a fuck.

I flit, I float, I fleetly flee, I fly.

sunshine,
moonlight,
good times,

BOOGIE

#what, #should, #i, #blame?

#gotit, #got_it, #spacesmatter

The nature of life is change and the nature of people is to resist change

Give up, give in, or give it all you've got.

A cynic is a romantic who is too scared to hope.

Paper towels are white trash

Expectations
are resentments under construction

Alcoholics unanimous

Hyper palatable, yet death hastening snacks.

Fionacatherine likes this

I was not immune to the low grade thrill of anarchy.

Fionacatherine likes this

Lofty ambitions but grounded expectations

Capable of action, but prone to inertia.

Keep abortion safe and legal.

I was suddenly the age at which parents transform from people who know everything into people who know nothing.

#thetestaments, #margaretatwood, #tootrue

Hormones
are a helluva drug.

Nostalgia is the enemy of all successful cleaning expeditions.

OJ- Nobody is pointing at you because of the football.

I was led to believe that quicksand was going to be a much larger concern than it ended up being.

You don't have to like or approve of Newsom to know that the alternative is
FAR WORSE.

Vote NO!

-Swim with dolphins
-Pretend I forgot everything and see what friends say
-Go to every state
-Surprise birthday party
-Surprise trip to airport
-Go TPing with friends and no parents
-Be on a cooking show
-Go snorkeling

#kidbucketlist

I sleep like a baby.
Which is to say, I'm awake every 2 hours.

Is anyone surprised Donald Trump is trying to force himself on America after she said No.

Don't let your fears in the present prevent you from doing the things that you will look back on with regret for not having tried.

The polar antonym of hip.

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.

-C.S. Lewis

$=>\$

Call me
"anti-life"

and I'll call you
"anti-choice"

Uite.
Look.
Uite.

If you like water,
you already like 72% of me.

Was feeling pretty good about my life choices until I navigated my browser to goop.com

Mentally preparing myself to have Hamiliton lyrics running through my head nonstop for the next 2 weeks.

If we do not fix the equity divide we cannot fix the equality divide.

Did you hear about the old lady who fell down the well?

She didn't see that well.

I think it's a little weird that as an adult I have a favorite pair of underwear...
but as a person, I am much more than
a "little" weird, so I guess that tracks.

You can't spell 'denial' without an 'i' .

It feels like I just had a 3 day weekend.

swatchUSA likes this

We must demand you wash your hands.
Don't touch your face.
Respect other's space.
Let's protect the human race.

The economy just hit
control-alt-delete

Keep the barometer closer to faith than fear.

This might finally get me over my aversion to video chatting.

Eat Food
Not Too Much

Mostly Plants

#michael, #collins

swatchUSA likes this

My robot's name is Capt. Cha.

Remember this Holiday Season:

It's not about the presents. It's about BEING present.

Dutch Baby
Heat cast iron to 425*.
3 eggs
1/2 C flour
1/2 C milk
1 T sugar
4 T butter
Melt butter in pan then add other combined ingredients.
20 min at 425* then
5 min at 300*

#dutchbabydutch

I feel a great disturbance in the force.

Fionacatherine likes this

Be your own spectator.
Seek your own applause.

-Seneca

My friend's 4 year old misspelled "fall" as "fart" and now I will be asking everyone how they're enjoying this crisp fart weather.

Did you hear about the old lady who fell down a well?

SHE DIDN'T SEE THAT WELL.

UserOne likes this

Loving myself is easier in theory than in practice.

me, at 8:30am: i think i'll have a coffee

me, 14 hours later: still alert, watching cat videos.

UserOne likes this

Only the strong survive.

swatchUSA likes this

Beauty Tips:
-Don't be racist
-Drink water
-Mind your business
-Coconut oil

#reddit

Why is it fine to eat a fried egg, but a spoonful of cookie dough could give us Salmonella?

The only thing that really matters is how you treat people.

Ziya, 6apklu, eulekauzig, Fionacatherine, karlokoenig, juliettebravo, MyM and swatchUSA like this

reposted by swatchUSA

You are a penis. That's right.
A penis.

6apklu likes this

Here, let me blow my nose on this piece of cloth, then put it in my pocket so I can do it again later.

#oldpeople

6apklu likes this

Go over to a stranger and tell them you are persistent.

6apklu likes this

Getting head is 34.5 since that
is half of 69

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.

Trump may or may not be a fascist. (But he's definitely fatuous.)

It is not opposite day.

My kid now is the same age I was the last time North America saw a solar eclipse.

#eclipse, #38years

Too late and too early.

Laughter is the best medicine.*

*except for medicine

Though she be but little,
she is FIERCE.

#shakespeare, #midsummer, #hermia

Were we?
We're going
to get her together.

#englishistricky

Christmas is coming.
The stores would like you to know.
Wait, it's October.

#haiku

Campo likes this

I've seen your grandfather. I know your grandfather.

The universe is telling me to eat dark chocolate.

#donotfightfate

We always run faster when there are rabid dogs nipping at our heels.

Nothing like starting off the weekend with some explosive diarrhea.

My fat jeans are, in fact, "skinny jeans".

#irony, #elastic, #sigh

Joanie loves tsochkes.

Franklin says "GET UPTIGHT"

185 hairdressers walk into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't server hairdressers here." 185 hairdressers wave and say,
"Salon."

#185

According to my BMI chart I am really under tall.

How do you make a pirate irate? Take away his pee.

Dressed in black on a Tuesday.

#group, #dynamics

It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.

#asyouwish

Lidocaine.
I'd bet my life on it.

It's not a race

It's a Parade

#circus

If I could save time in a bottle

The first thing that I'd like to do

Is to monetize that shit

TIME FOR SALE!!

If you are one in a million, there are 8 of you in New York City.

#palindrome

The fun is in the journey.

And so are the blisters.

#life

Trump=Backpfeifengesicht

Go ahead: Google it. I'll wait.

Lizards are always trying to impress me by doing lots of push-ups

My spirit animal is Nellie Olsen

I demand spicy respect: call me "SIR-acha"

Not Now, Wonton!

#palindrome