rishiprakash's Posts

Today a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.....apparently "in HD" was not the right answer...

Reposted from pasquale85

pasquale85 likes this

I would not want to be involved in a fight with a person who bleeds every month and still lives.

Reposted from GodzDNA

i asked a sexy Chinese girl for her number.

she replied: sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight.
i said: wow!

then her friend said:
-she means 6663629

Reposted from sissy_and_bros

The closest I get to church is making a woman scream, "oh, godddd."

Reposted from satan

satan likes this

If I were a gardener, I'd put my tulips and your tulips together.

Reposted from anonymous

I'm going to miss myself so much when I die.

Reposted from anonymous

Whoever invented Knock Knock jokes should get a 'no bell prize'.

Reposted from MeMyselfAnd..I

Person: A little birdie told me you've been doing drugs...

Me: Seems to me the only one doing drugs is you, since you apparently talk to birds.

Reposted from anonymous

UK - We call it Autumn from the French word "autompne" and the later, the Latin "autumnus".

US - WE CALL IT FALL BECAUSE THE LEAVES FALL DOWN

Reposted from anonymous

When I was born I was so shocked that I didn't talk for, like, a year.

Reposted from anonymous

men use love to get sex. women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza

Reposted from kathiheger

-Police: 'Knock Knock'
-Me: Who is it?
-Police: It's the Police!
-Me: What do you want?
-P: We just wanna talk.
-M: How many of you are there?
-P: 2
-M: Then Talk to each other

Reposted from kathiheger

Some talk to you in their free time
&
some free time to talk to you

Reposted from anbu

I hate people who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

Reposted from MooseOnDaLoose

Under no circumstances you are allowed to read the following sentence!

You're a rebel, hm? i like you.

Reposted from MooseOnDaLoose

why do i have a button to like my own posts? of course i like em. i'm hilarious.
and sexy!

Reposted from MooseOnDaLoose

"That's nice, my dear."

Grandma's version of "Cool story, Bro."

Reposted from MooseOnDaLoose

I'm glad my pet can't talk. He knows too much...

Reposted from MooseOnDaLoose

Job Interview:
"What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."

Reposted from MooseOnDaLoose

Shout out to everyone who has seriously looked up whether it was legal to marry food

Reposted from anonymous

I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive:

"Hi".

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

NukeSkywalker likes this

Karma means i can rest easy at night knowing all the people i treated badly today had it pretty much coming.

Reposted from MooseOnDaLoose

tomorrow (noun)

a mystical land where 99 percent of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.

Reposted from xoxox

xoxox likes this

santa gets all the credit

and i get all the bills...

Reposted from ephy