ReadMe's Posts

6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy

#fairytale

You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.

there is a fine line between fishing and standing on shore like an idiot

Qball likes this

Why is it when Dick Cheney shot someone in the face nothing happened, but when Clinton did it he was impeached?

Qball likes this

Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.

I don't have a girlfriend, but I do know a girl who would be angry if she heard me say that

PenSword72 and Bettydent like this

I'm always too fucking busy ...
or vice versa

fayzian likes this

Anyone who can see through women is missing a lot

fayzian and Qball like this

when life gives you melons ... you may have dyslexia

ZeepBella likes this

talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand

Qball likes this

party like it's on sale for $19.99

#kwikemart

Qball likes this

Get out!!!
Please come again.

#kwikemart

swatchUSA, pasquale85, Qball and PenSword72 like this

I got drunk last night so I took a taxi home from the bar. Now I have a hangover ... and a taxi

I dont mean to brag, but I am only two girls away from a threesome

I am proud to say that I have worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty

Qball likes this

I can see being married one day ... two days tops

I wish I could buy you for what you're worth and sell you for what you think you're worth

Heck is where you go if you dont believe in Gosh - M.H.

Give a man a mask and he will show you his true face

Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have.

are there no sour patch adults because we keep eating their kids?

I need to develope some patience -immediately if not sooner

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but mean your mother.

Saying 'I'm sorry' and 'I apologize' are the same, unless you're at a funeral

on the other hand, you have different fingers

my girlfriend often makes me want to be a better person ... so I can get a better girlfriend

Just once I wish someone would call me Sir without adding "You're making a scene"

I can make birds levitate, but no one cares ...

People born on June 9th, 2000, you will turn 69 on 6/9/69

I am one half centaur

a platypus is like a double sided beaver

what are snails even trying to do?

#slime, #snails

I just invented a new word: Plagiarism

#smart

I hate cocaine but love the way it smells

113 year olds are teenagers for the second time