justTod's Posts

You know what that song needs?
More chopsticks.

#chopsticks

Insomnia is a bitch that won't suck your dick but keeps you up all night

I want married gay people to be able to protect their marijuana plants with the guns of their choosing

I'm a phrenicschitzo;

I tell the voices what to do

Beyotches be trippin'...
okay, I DID push one of them

Some people are meant to fall in love with each other,
but not meant to be together

swatchUSA likes this

You can find my soul in the lost & found

swatchUSA likes this

and still in toil, it takes heart to love the rose

Marriage isn't a word,
it's a sentence

JennyHussien, F1To and swatchUSA like this

Please excuse that fart and simultaneous burp...
BUT it IS unheathy to suppress bodily functions

#manners

Pot is a plant that grows in the ground;
if God didn't like it
it wouldn't be around

I could never be a celebrity--not for lack of talent, though; I'd never survive the scandals

dor1316 likes this

My boss may be my boss, but he's not my superior...
I'm inferior to no one

#boss

EliseD, Qball and dor1316 like this

My remote doesn't work...
my wife's still talking

#remotecontrol

Qball likes this

To be alone in the world is the root of all suffering

FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real

Seventeen minutes after I was born,
I immediately wished I didn't have a twin...

to this day, I wish I had absorbed him in the womb...

yeah--not all twins are f**king happy-go-lucky , best buddy Double Mint Twins...

#birth

Ships that pass in the night, & speak each other in passing;
Only a signal shown & distant voice in the darkness;
So on the ocean of life we pass and speak one another,
Only a look & a voice; then darkness again & a silence...

I have a phobia of people with phobias ...

go be scared of whatever somewhere else

#phobia

I'm in the so-called "1%" and I refuse to continue to be made feel bad for it nor apologize for it...I WORKED HARD FOR IT

There is no such thing as "TRYING to quit;"
one either HAS quit or one HASN'T .

Some of us do,
some of us can't

idiomatic likes this

Seek to understand, not to be understood

Every human female is a woman, but not every woman is a LADY...

#myperspective

Life is a garden--

dig it

I happen to love the word "moist"

Horny is as horny does and last night horny DID

janem803 and Moon-D like this

Polite women never make history

It'd be much appreciated if you began to treat me like a sex object

There are no traffic jams along the extra mile

You take your car to work, I'll take my board;
& when you're out of fuel, I'm still afloat...

I just ate a Muslim...

Sunni I'll have to take a Shiite

#plottwist

mng likes this

My wife told me to do the dishes last night...

I'm still trying to figure out how to fuck a plate

#plottwist

screamoutloud likes this

Why can't blondes make Kool-aid?

Because they can't figure out how to fit a quart of water into those teeny-tiny packets

#plottwist

reposted by Ron71