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I'm just looking for someone to turn my eggs from scrambled to sunny side up.

The only reason the term 'Ladies first' was invented was for the guy to check out the woman's ass.

Mephobia

Fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can't handle it and everybody dies.

You might say that I am a crybaby.

I am. I admit that, but I still love you more.

When you wake up so thirsty that you grab the cup by your bed
and it takes you a while to realise you're drinking the water that you were washing your paintbrushes in last night.

The sun machine is coming down and we're gonna have a party!

For fucking fucks sake already?!?!!!

the Kardashians are way too fast for me ...

$There will never be a shortage on stupid; we can all fool around! \ (>.<)/$

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