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Never ask a woman her age. Or her weight. Or anything. Just stare, breathe and hope for the best.

58

Listening to a bird is like listening to a woman.

Nice voice but impossible to understand.

27

Women want someone who can make them laugh and someone who they feel safe with,
so basically, a clown ninja.

58

Women
fall in love with
what they hear

Men
fall in love with
what they see

That's why
women wear make-up
and men lie

91

Why period?
Why can't mother nature just text me like: "What's up girl? You ain't pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to ya in a month."

69

Science fiction today. Science fact tomorrow.

22

As a true gentleman, I hold the door for my woman.

Then I smack her ass.

45

I'm glad
I'm a man...
I would hate to remember everything.

38

Telling a black man to respect police so they don't get killed is like telling a woman to dress appropriately so they don't get raped.

25

I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night & when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep.

In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

39

All of a sudden
the world turned
crazy for mermaids
and unicorns,

and everything
else that isn't real.

26

We Can Do It!

12

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