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Posts Liked by amyloujones

She's the type of woman to throw stuff when she gets angry with her husband. Like her vagina.
At the neighbor.

24

You remind me of my big toe, cause i'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own

23

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

812

i just burnt my tongue on some food

they say the ones you love hurt you the most

797

All I'm saying is, I've never seen my Ex and Hitler in the same room together.

22

It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.

1546

we live for nights nobody can remember with people we'll never forget

70

Too dumb for science?
Try religion.

102

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