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So, tell me. What
are you doing for
the rest of your life?

42

A rose can never be a sunflower, and a sunflower can never be a rose. All flowers are beautiful in their own way, and that's like women too.

13

"Drunk woman caught having sex in carpark tries to wear cheeseburger as a shoe."

12

My new phone is gold. I feel like a pimp.
Now bring me a white fur coat and a top hat!

5

I want to start by saying something nice about President Bush.

Of all the presidents we've had with the last name of Bush, his economic plan ranks in the top two.

~ Senator John Kerry

6

You don't need to be a scientist to understand science

5

He has delusions of adequacy

4

I stole ten thousand pounds, ten thousand pounds to see you I robbed convenient stores cause I thought they'd make it easier I lived off rats and toads, and I starved for you
I fought off giants bears and I killed them too

3

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