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I can't stop drinking about
you.

58

I slept with your mom!
I slept with your mom!
I slept with your mom!

Shut up dad, you're drunk!

54

I'M NOT DRUNK
I'M
SOBEER.

25

The best thing about having a penis is sharing it with people who don't. Agree?

66

Get the vodka. We need to talk about feelings.

44

Let's play hide & fuck

33

What's worse than drunken messages?

Drunken messsages with pictures!

38

sorry for all the things that i said when i was sober •••

32

Notice:

I will be intoxicated this evening.

To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.

33

Alcohol is an excellent solvent
for
fats and oils,
relationships,
partnerships,
work contracts
brain cells,
the liver, etc.

But not for problems.

18

IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE SET THEM FREE,

IF THEY DON'T COME BACK,
CALL THEM WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK •_•

22

A lady is never
too drunk to correct
a typo, or a false declaration of lust.

32

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