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If I stole your heart & you stole mine, wouldn't that be the perfect crime?

22

You know you're
living in rural
England when
the biggest news
on a Wednesday
morning is the
accusation of
umbrella theft.

33

There should be a death panel for couples with matching outfits.

35

Willful neglect Unspoken Regret, Time that slips away. Broken hearts
Falling apart, Losing the will to stay. Shock and fear Readily clear, With prices to be paid. Accepting the cost for Everything Lost
And the Vows we Both Betrayed.

20

If love was a crime, we'dd all want to be criminals

17

Some people should simply be beaten to death, with their dead cat;
instead of being allowed to carry a gun

9

Excessive courage goes up in crime.

20

"What the fuck happened to you?"
I touched the bandage on my eye.
"I disturbed some local wildlife."

7

"Three hours of burning silence and sarcasm.
It's like being married."...

12

DNA is a bitch

13

"Aha," I said.
"You don't think---"
"I'm not a fan of coincidence." I said.

13

"I thought it was a suicide," Frank said. "Heard the guy jumped."

"He had an incentive," I said. "There were four bullet holes in him."

12

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