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summery

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With everything that's going on in the world at the moment, we can only hope that somewhere on this planet a hobbit with a ring is on his way to a volcano...

13

IT'S TOO HOT TO EVEN HAVE SKIN. I'M ABOUT TO WALK AROUND IN NOTHING BUT SPIRIT AND TRUTH.

9

IT'S SO HOT OUTSIDE I ALMOST CALLED MY EX SO I COULD BE AROUND SOMETHING SHADY.

9

IRONING BOARDS ARE SURF BOARDS THAT GAVE UP ON THEIR DREAMS AND GOT A BORING JOB, DON'T BE AN IRONING BOARD.

8

A long time ago summer used to be fun. Now, it's whether or not who controls the weather.

6

HE'S TAKING VIAGRA FOR HIS SUNBURN IT DOESN'T CURE IT BUT IT KEEPS THE SHEETS OFF HIS LEGS!

6

sit up straight, you won't meet summer with rounded shoulders

5

Drinking lots of water will help you stay out of other people's drama because you're too busy peeing.
Stay hydrated!

6

WHOEVER CONVINCED BLIND PEOPLE THEY NEED SUNGLASSES WAS ONE HELL OF A SALESMAN.

5

difficult to read the news without crying

9

ON THE BEACH AND IN THE SEA, ANIMALS DO NOT LEAVE TRASH: HUMANS DO. PLEASE BEHAVE LIKE ANIMALS.

8

I'M SO FKN PISSED OFF I'VE HAD TO BUY THE SAME MOVIE TICKETS SIX TIMES NOW BECAUSE SOME ASSHOLE AT THE ENTRANCE KEEPS RIPPING THEM IN HALF.

8

The fact that my balcony doesn't face the main street makes it nice and quiet, but my speeches to the people are relatively ineffective.

8

KINDA PISSED ABOUT NOT BEING A MERMAID.

7

IT'S ALWAYS SAD WHEN SOMEONE LEAVES HOME, UNLESS THEY ARE SIMPLY GOING AROUND THE CORNER AND WILL RETURN IN A FEW SECONDS WITH AN ICE-CREAM CONE.

7

I CAN'T WAIT TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE AND HEAR THOSE MAGICAL WORDS.... " THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING".

7

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