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Posts Liked by Zenski

-FriEND
-BestfriEND
-BoyfriEND
-GirlfriEND
-FOOD.....
ONLY FOOD HAS NO END!

15

Google ist definitiv weiblich.

Google macht dir schon Vorschläge bevor du deinen Satz beendet hast.

22

Technically speaking, aliens invaded the moon in 1969

20

Lieber ausgeflogen als untervögelt.

9

AS A TRIBUTE
TO YOUR PRESIDENT I NAMED MY CAT AFTER HIM.

I CALL HIM PUSSY!

15

Diarehea combined with alzheimer must be terrible, you're running, but totally forgot where to or what for!
.....OOPS

14

- hast du
Geschenkpapier?

- hast du
Geschenke????!

15

jingle sells,
jingle sells,
jingle all the pay

8

No ism no must.

5

To hell with happy endings.

I'm here for the story.

89

"What an ugly child."

"It's my son."

"Sorry. I don't know that you are the farther."

"I'm the mother."

21

HOUSTON

I
HAVE SO
MANY
PROBLEMS

34

Habe mir gerade Bauklötze und ein Dreirad bestellt.

Ich fang nochmal ganz von vorne an.

22

I want to get
a parrot
and train it to say:
I've been turned
into a parrot.

92

I changed my password everywhere to "incorrect."

That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, "Your password is incorrect."

22

I'm a ninja!

No you're not.

Did you see that?

See what?

Exactly!

26

Gerade zweimal das falsche Passwort zum Entsperren eingegeben.

Das dritte Mal fühlte sich an, als hätte ich eine Bombe entschärft.

19

"Rasier Dich mal! Du bist schon überfellig!"

19

Happy
2016
Too All Of You

18

I FINALLY QUIT DRINKING FOR GOOD,
NOW I DRINK FOR EVIL ;-)

25

adventure
may hurt you

but monotony will kill you

9

Say whatever you want about the freedom of speech...

2

" WHEN I FIND MYSELF FADING,
I CLOSE MY EYES AND REALIZE

MY FRIENDS ARE MY ENERGY"

17

Everybody knew it was impossible, untill there came someone along who did'nt know that

39

I finally realized it..

People are prisoner of their phones.

That's why they are called cell phones.

49

HI
MY
NAME
IS
DEBORAH
AND
I'M
A
BOLDAHOLIC

11

The greatest achievement a parent can get is when your kids are more succesfull then you are

20

I didn't GIVE you
THE FINGER
just like that!

you've completely EARNED it

28

Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons...

67

THIS IS BY FAR YOUR MOST FUCKED UP IDEA EVER... I'LL BE THERE IN 10MINUTES.

208

There is nothing more crushing, than crossing a line for someone, who was never going to do the same for you.

39

OK I kind of get it I think, but HOW married are you?

20

wer am Morgen verknittert aufwacht, hat den ganzen Tag Zeit, sich zu entfalten.

6

Alle Laubbläser stimmen sich ein für das Wochenende

"It's too loud, but nobody kehrs."

11

Kann ich jetzt so nicht sagen, frag mich nochmal wenn ich betrunken bin.

10

I need a hug that results in wild sex

19

You have to
kiss a lot of
frogs before
you find
your prince.

20

Mit leerem Kopf nickt es sich leichter.

20

Manchmal schau ich mir verträumt meine Kontoauszüge an, streichle sanft über das Papier und flüstere: "Mein eigenes kleines Griechenland.."

6

I believe in SEX at first sight

8

"YOU CAN'T
HAVE
EVERYTHING..

WHERE WOULD YOU PUT IT?"

13

THEY ARE REFUGEES

THEY ARE DESPERATE

THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS

22

DIED DRUNK. REST IN PISS.

31

1990: I made you this mix tape

2000: I made you this mix cd

2015: Here's a picture of my dick

19

Ich: Soll ich es kaufen?
Kopf: Nein! Konto: Nein! Partner: Nein!
Universum: Nein!
Ich: Gekauft!

34

There's always that one person that you've had feelings for since the moment you first met them.

54

"message in a bottle" war gestern...

..."text in a square" is in!

21

Um diesem Arbeitstag etwas mehr Ausdruck zu verleihen, rühre ich jetzt meinen Kaffee mit dem Mittelfinger um.

71

95% of the ocean is still undiscovered, so you can't say that mermaids don't exist jet

14

I wish the outbreak of World Peace 1 !

35

My signature move on a first date is stealing fries off your plate.

23

Candle
Light
Döner

14

Lasst Wölfe und Bären endlich wieder in unsere Wälder scheissen.

7

Einführung der Faulenquote

11

If this day was not your friend, it was your teacher!

25

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

20

Take a look through my

Pervertscope

7

Konrad Duden weint leise in seinem Grab.

6

Sometimes, I sneak up on my alarm clock in the middle of the night and yell "HOW DOES IT FEEL BITCH"

109

Sometimes, I sneak up on my alarm clock in the middle of the night and yell "HOW DOES IT FEEL BITCH"

19

Annoying when a girl thinks I'm checking her out but I'm looking at her cheeseburger.

15

never ruin a good day by thinking of a bad yesterday

let it go •

95

damn girl! thats a nice ass!

but wait, is it really 'your' ass?

4

What did one butt cheek say to the other?

Together we can stop this Shit.

14

Listening can say so much

55

YOU Are Proof That GOD has a Sense
of Humour ;-)

9

PROFIS WEINEN NICHT

3

Tageshoroskop Löwe

Verschluck dich nicht an der Grillparty!

9

alcohol - cause no great story starts with salad'

5

Masturdating

(n) going out alone to a movie or restaurant.

7

Karma is like 69. You get what you give.

102

one look can tell much more than words

4

An alle, die sich über banale Computer- probleme ihrer Eltern aufregen.
Diese Eltern haben euch beigebracht wie man einen Löffel hält.

19

I work only for Money.
If you want Loyalty,
Hire A Dog

7

Einfach mal den Chef fragen, was er so beruflich macht.

Das Gesicht: unbezahlbar.

14

Don't stand around doing nothing. People will think you're the boss.

58

at one moment in time you were the youngest person on the planet.

8

Dachte du wärst mein Anker,
dabei warst du mein Untergang.

12

The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

5

Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

5

People - Coffee = Zombie

12

Komm wir essen Oma.

Satzzeichen retten Leben

1

Komm schon, es ist doch nur für den Rest Deines Lebens.

4

and 90 minutes later, GOD created MESSI

3

It's better to be late, than to arrive ugly.

190

I didn't want normal until I didn't have it anymore.

7

The last insect that bit me is currently in rehab.

26

Don't text and drive. But, yknow. Here's Wi-Fi in your car.

8

Life is Tetris.

21

CANCER

YOU
SUCK

44

It's not a walk of shame if you leave with a moonwalk.

191

things I want:
-pizza
-a nice body

things you apparently can't have at the same time:
-pizza
-a nice body

45

You have two lives.

The second one begins when you realize you only have one.

11

ready for monday

nononono no nonono
nononono no no no
nono no no no no
nono nonon no no
nono nono nonono

31

mach ma' dein Herz auf.

9

My Bed
Wasn't Feeling
Well This Morning,
So I Stayed at Home
To Take Care Of It.

95

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.
-Morticia Addams

11

Spring
is
Here
I'm
So
Excited
I
Wet
My
PLANTS

---<---<--@

18

alles ist, nur noch halb so beschissen wenn die Sonne scheint.

31

Walking
in the wood's Help's me Relax and relieve Tension...

The Fact that i'm Dragging a Body
Should be entirely
Irrelevant..

23

We go together like sunglasses and Karl Lagerfeld.

13

"Half the world's starving, the other half is trying to lose weight..."

9

I Don't Want to make Anybody
Jealous!!
Trust Me,
When I woke up Today
I Had
No Plan's
To Be This Sexy 8-)

26

Your password must contain at least one lie society told you & one dream you gave up for the financial means to survive.

27

ich mag leute nicht, die ihren eigenen post liken.

4

*Prins charming arrives on his
white horse.*

Me: 'Now that I've finally got the
horse, what do I
have to do with
that prince?'

6

I hate it when I'm on the treadmill and I accidentally hit the stop button and go to Chipotle and eat a burrito...

5

Karten nur an der Abendkasse,

kommen Sie früh!

9

Wow, you really have your shit together.

- My compost

20

2010 - ugly
2011 - ugly
2012 - ugly
2013 - ugly
2014 - ugly

So is there going to be a plottwist in 2015 or?

3

I just can't take this long distance relationship anymore.
Fridge, you're coming to my room.

15

I Hate when I Plan my Day..
And Nobody Follow's
The Script !!

142

Hey, what's the Wi-Fi password?

Idiot, we're at a funeral!

All in one Word?

218

My life is like a box of chocolates,

I'm lactose intolorant.

8

Wouldn't
It be great
if we could put ourseselves in the Dryer for 10 mins
And Come out
Wrinkle Free
And
Two Sizes Smaller ^_^

21

Und was machst du heute noch?

"Jogginghose anziehen!"
Und dann? Wie, und dann?

34

Fuck is a word you can fucking say between any fucking sentence and it fucking makes sense

3

I didn't slap you I high fives your face duh

1

People wait all week for Friday,
all year for summer,
all life for happiness

18

TEXTOSTERON

8

I like to be alone.
But I would rather be alone with you.

7

I have a tremendous fear of failing and not succeeding and dissappointing people in life.

19

BLUE AND BLACK
ok?

5

look
at you
worrying
so much
about
things
you can't
change

7

Wann genau ist aus Sex, Drugs & Rock n Roll eigentlich Laktoseintoleranz, Veganismus & Helene Fischer geworden?

54

Sex? No thanks, my life fucks me every day

117

The sex was so good even the neighbours had a cigarette.

283

You laughed because I'm different I laughed because your all the same

1

Deine Mutter arbeitet bei Nordsee
als Geruch

17

"I'm not racist... but"

- a racist

30

You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to.

16

Well well well, if this isn't my complete lack of motivation again.

49

You have to be odd to be number one.

4

Can
i
be
your
bad
habit
?
^_^

12

NEIN ist ein schönes Wort,
ein gutes Wort,
ein wahres Wort

9

Es heisst ja "Guten Morgen", weil "Halt die Fresse und geh sterben" gesellschaftlich nicht so akzeptiert ist.

62

I'm addicted to Bold, I should probably seek help.

Wait, let me Bold that.

40

no.
yes.
no.
yes.
no.
yes.
no.
yes.

send.

16

my grades aren't that bad for a person who has the urge to drop out of school every 25 minutes

22

Wäre der heutige Tag ein Fisch, ich würde ihn wieder reinwerfen.

5

Bringing McDonalds into public transportation is like taking a shit at the Opera.

79

Don't be sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember... nobody loves you any other day of the year either.

67

i have
sexdaily.

i mean
dyslexia.

fcuk!

31

rabbits jump and live 8 years. dogs run and live 15 years. turtles do nothing and live 150 years, lesson learned.

3

Saw a Cougar wearing a Leopard coat, driving a Jaguar.

It's a jungle out there.

52

2100 A.D

jungle?
whats that?

7

Solange mein Chef so tut, als würde er mich richtig bezahlen, solange tue ich so, als würde ich richtig arbeiten!

11

you were my cup of tea,

but I drink champagne now

5

I licked it, so it's mine

65

you were my cup of tea,

but I drink champagne now

40

Als ich jung war, waren Singles noch aus Vinyl und nicht aus Verzweiflung.

54

Ich habe Schnupfen
oder wie ein Mann sagen würde:
es geht zu Ende!

35

Empathie gibt's nicht im Appstore.

7

wham: man listens to a christmas song and throws his radio at the wall.

9

Apple CEO announces he's gay. Samsung CEO announces he's more gay and water resistant.

244

Vernünftig ist wie tot. Nur vorher.

23

24 shopping days days left until your loved ones find out how little you understand them.

125

Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.

• Franz Kafka

6

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