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Posts Liked by maria.o

If you ever feel powerless, remember that a single one of your pubic hairs can shut down a whole restaurant.

115

I've quit for good.

I only drink for evil now.

25

If someone points at your black clothes and asks, whos funeral it is, you just look around the room, and answer, 'haven't decided yet.'

247

If it takes someone 12 minutes to get the straw into the Capri Sun, this should give you some indication as to what they are like in bed.

Back away slowly, then run fast, run far.

145

Time is not forever.
You are.

6

Change the world.
Or don't.
Eat cake then.

20

I don't like morning people.

Or mornings.

Or people.

42

There is no
I in "Team"

...but there
is in "Idiot"

13

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