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Posts Liked by goooder

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

734

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

326

I've never seen a Mcdonalds or a Burger King under construction.

They just show up.

389

10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion.

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.

477

Anybody have any plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?

320

Most of the time I am convinced I have lost it. But sometimes, I think I am the main line of truth in the universe.

201

I like to be alone.
But I would rather be alone with you.

523

that awkward moment when I'm drunk
and you're still ugly

478

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