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Posts Liked by ejld

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

566

The most difficult part about walking away from someone is realizing that they don't care enough to attempt to stop you.

162

what if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in spanish

92

IMAGINE

If trees gave off WiFi
signals, we would be
planting so many trees
and we'd probably
save the planet too!

Too bad they only
produce the oxygen
we breathe.

97

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

104

When guys wait for the perfect girl, it's Playboy's fault.

When girls wait for the perfect guy, it's Disney's fault.

123

sleeping
naked burns more
calories

81

Its too hot

*opens window*

in comes: 20 flies,
8 spiders,
17 daddy long legs,
50 moths,
3 dragons
and 12 Jehovahs witnesses.

86

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