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Posts Liked by cdiva1

I would not want to be involved in a fight with a person who bleeds every month and still lives.

225

If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.

292

I'M ON THAT NEW DIET WHERE YOU EAT EVERYTHING AND HOPE FOR A BIG MIRACLE.

244

If you ran like your mouth, you'd be in good shape.

177

People
who talk shit
will be reincarnated as toilet paper •

212

does running away from my problems count as jogging?

278

I'm not the type of person you should put on speaker phone.

196

Exercise
Exercis
Exerci
Exerc
Exer
Exe
Ex
Extra fries.

219

"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."

148

MAYBE SHE'S BORN WITH IT,
MAYBE IT'S AN INSTAGRAM FILTER.

192

"tried" is only one step from "tired".

Hello, couch.

126

We all think we're smart
until we try to turn on
someone else's shower.

212

If we all pretend tomorrow is Sunday we might just get away with it.

172

If you think you can make anything idiot proof, then you're the idiot.

153

Sometimes you have to destroy something to create something new.

229

Dear Sneeze,

If you're going to happen, happen.

Don't put a stupid look on my face and then just leave.

251

People keep asking me "how's it going" like I have any idea what's going on at any point.

184

I fear the people who can bite ice cream.

243

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...

278

Dont make me choose between you and food because I would miss you.

333

The world is full of nice people. If you can't find one...

be one.

324

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle

344

have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered...

"who ties your shoelaces for you?"

280

life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent.

201

As you move outside of your comfort zone, what was once the unknown and frightening becomes your new normal.

193

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