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Posts Liked by Babymonster

teeth:
because blow jobs need to come with a gentle reminder of who's really in charge

95

a virgin getting pregnant, l can believe. but three wise men?

80

Me: for Christmas I
want a unicorn.

Santa: be realistic!

Me: ok I want a
boyfriend.

Santa: what colour do
you want your
unicorn?

153

spilling a full beer you paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon

82

i envy the cup of coffee that gets to kiss your sleepy lips awake every cold and bitter morning.

97

You know that voice that says, "Don't do that"?

Yeah, I don't have one of those.

99

Always love a women for her personality.

They have like 10, so you can choose.

145

Follow your inner moonlight;

don't hide the madness.

63

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