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Most of the time I am convinced I have lost it. But sometimes, I think I am the main line of truth in the universe.

43

happiness sometimes sneaks in through a door you did not know you left open...

61

Past friendships haunt my phones contact list like ghosts. The names & numbers like epitaphs on gravestones.

33

Shout out to everyone who has seriously looked up whether it was legal to marry food

18

Food, sex, and art.

24

I need to get in shape because if I were murdered right now, my chalk outline would be a circle.

27

You never know a person until you walk a mile in their shoes...

...or until you check their browser history.

70

I was so close to sneezing but couldn't.
I get it ladies. I finally get it.

40

i don't care if it's from your heart, from a friend,
or from the web.

if it inspires me, i'm happy you bolded it,

it's that simple

44

I often wonder, what would the child you once were think of the adult you have become.

47

ONLY CAPS LOCK CAN CAPTURE THE GREATNESS OF LIFE

24

Relationships are like bathrooms. I'm in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I'm playing on my phone the whole time.

60

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