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Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night

18

"only boring people are bored"

15

DRESS LIKE YOU OWN THE BANK.

NOT LIKE YOU NEED A LOAN FROM IT!

16

I MAY NOT BE WONDER WOMAN... BUT I CAN DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU WONDER.

13

GET AT LEAST EIGHT HOURS OF BEAUTY SLEEP,
NINE IF YOU'RE UGLY?

8

...<<<-@->>>...

Sometime I just want to go back in time and slap myself!!
____<<<-@->>>____

9

The old “I didn’t do this racist thing because I usually remember the racist things I do and I don’t remember this one” defense. Classic.

4

The CEO of Starbucks should never be president. He won’t be able to get all of our names right.

5

I FIND IT QUITE IRONIC THAT THE MOST DANGEROUS THING ABOUT WEED IS GETTING CAUGHT WITH IT !

-Bill Murray:

11

Before you dive into my waters you should know

I love deep

10

Who hasn’t screamed “the other side did crimes” moments before being exonerated by a lengthy investigative report you don’t want anyone to see?

3

“No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor. ”

-Betty Friedan

9

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