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I'm not necessarily saying I want to be rich but it would be nice to not have to check my bank account before purchasing Ramen noodles

42

What's worse than finding a spider in your house?

Losing it.

22

The worst thing about
online dating is seven
year olds pretending
to be an overweight,
fifty-something year
old single from Idaho
who recently got fired
because of some stupid reorganization.

37

Now all I can see is your
smile and I
know it will be enough
for a while

17

BRITISH ACCENT:
JUSTIN BIEBAH.
AMERICAN: JUSTIN BIEBUR
AUSTRALIAN: JASTIN BEYBAH.

YOU TRIED OUT ALL OF
ACCENTS DIDN'T YOU?

YOU DIVIL •_•

14

the greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated

• mahatma
gandhi

10

Tiny thoughts
in wounded minds
making facts
from tangled lies
reinforce the broken heart
with visions of despair.

17

that awkward moment when you see their lips move and they speak your language but you're clueless as to what they're trying to say.

15

a lot less of discrimination,
and a lot more of compassion makes us more human •••

20

_
| |_.,._
|_____]

6

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not gonna happen".

16

I can't believe he
fell for the old "there's
not enough room on
the door" line..

- Kate Winslet

19

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