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I am a compulsive candle lighter but i blow them out before they reach the bottom.. See i think the problem is i give up on things before they give up on me

9

When one of the security question options is 'The street you grew up on' and you don't even know what you ate yesterday.

17

a??ls??s??a

16

I was so out of it last night

That I entered my PIN number into my microwave

14

For 15 years I took my Mom out for Mother's Day. It was a special day for us. Why? Because I knew where she wanted to go. Bates! A place that serves the BEST sliders in the world. Mom looked forward to this every year, 2 burgers w/onion & pickle. We would split the fries. Then we would watch happy husbands pick up this wonderfully greasy food. All happily content not to have to wait for dinner.

(sliders-thin greasy hamburgers that are served on a bun that has been absorbing juices. not to be confused with White Castles)

12

i relapsed, i feel like ending it all. i can't breathe, what is happening?

11

Mmm.

The pastry is crisp. The savoury filling, just the right texture.

*lights fat cigar*

I love it when a flan comes together.

10

100% NO!!

It's not rainbows what it smells like.

10

Helene Fischer im Radio, Helene Fischer im Club, Helene Fischer bei Tchibo, Helene Fischer im Tatort. Traue mich gar nicht den Klodeckel hoch zu machen.

10

If white, black or brown chocolate.

I ate them all!!!

8

At Christmas my carry luggage was stopped by TSA. The person called over somebody to look at my bag. The only thing I worried about was them giving away my surprise for TFG.

Being broke is hard at this time of year. So I decided to give him a good surprise. Now TSA was looking at my luggage and going to spoil everything. The other person let it pass without problem.

What was the magical gift I was bringing? Crisp bacon was the problem. I had cooked a lot for a Christmas surprise. I guess it looks different being x-rayed.

7

atemlos

6

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